The journey itself, is freedom
by Ainzfern
9
Strolling casually through the massive Atrium lobby the next afternoon with Esra beside him, Riki had to appreciate that, when viewed from an outside point of view, the pair of them probably looked pretty incongruous. And, in all honesty; Riki grinned with mild amusement as the thought crossed his mind, he wouldn't blame anyone for that.
Riki glanced sideways and down in to Esra's warm brown eyes, appreciating the genuine light of friendliness there, the openness of the young man's beautiful face. He flipped Esra a quick wink and the ex-Pet grinned immediately, his smile like a rising sun.
Nice kid, Riki mused again, even as he continued his previous train of thought. Really couldn't deny that; even if, comparatively, there were some quite notable differences between them. There was Riki, of course, darker skinned, dark featured. Riki was shorter than most mongrel-bred stock, that much was true. But he was also strong, hard muscled and possessed of a compact and wiry resilience which had not softened, even over the years that he had now been residing in the luxury that was Eos.
Then there was Esra, who certainly shared the same tendency towards dark hair and eyes, but whose similarity to Riki pretty much ended there. Esra was smaller again, by a good half a head, to his new mongrel friend. His skin was very pale, as unblemished as fine porcelain, unmarked as yet by time or exposure to sunlight. And, although both men were beautifully proportioned and very pleasing to the eyes, where Riki was sleek but sturdy, Esra was slender and slight.
But it was the things that they had in common, the things unseen, that had forged a burgeoning friendship between a young ex-Pet and himself and Katze. Their shared experiences, their current place in Amoi society, the fact that they had accepted Elite mates and, with them, all the highs and lows of such an arrangement... These things now gave a firm foundation to their common ground; where in years gone past social and demographic differences would have meant that such a friendship could not possibly have come to pass.
Riki was glad that those things had changed. As he had realized almost immediately upon meeting Esra, the kid was genuinely likeable. There was a sincere kind of sweetness about him. Not an affectation at all, but clearly coming naturally from within, built in to his character. He had a pretty good sense of humor, just in passing, and he exhibited none of the pouting or spoilt-brat antics that Riki had previously always associated with young Pets. He was easy and enjoyable company.
Upon reflection, Riki would have actually been kind of sad to have missed out on it.
Now, as he led Esra to his preferred cafe located in one of the less busy areas of the Atrium, just inside the exit to the greater Eos Central district, Riki smiled again as they took their seats. He signaled to the hovering waiter, quietly ordered for himself before waving a hand at Esra to do the same. As the waiter glided silently away, Riki sighed and sat back, settling comfortably into his seat.
"So," he grinned rakishly at the young man before him, "I take it that Katze and I are the first mongrels you've ever spoken to."
Esra looked a bit shocked by the question to start with, but he recovered well enough once he seemed to get the fact that Riki wasn't offended by the term, but rather had adopted it as his own. The ex-Pet shrugged, huffing a rueful little laugh. "Actually," he replied as their waiter almost immediately returned with coffees, "you're the first mongrels I've ever been near enough to speak to."
Riki picked up his coffee and nursed it with both hands. "Whoa. Okay, so you really didn't get out much when you were a Pet, then?"
"Not really, no," Esra took a careful sip of his espresso, a fleeting expression of pleasure crossing his flawless face. "I mean, I was allowed to go out into Eos Central if Kalad was with me, or even with Kati or Dahn, but not by myself."
"Kati and Dahn?" Riki's brow creased at the unfamiliar names. "Who are they?"
Esra smiled, but there was a touch of wistfulness there, Riki noted. "They were Laron's older Pets. A performing pair. They were beautiful, Riki, you should have seen them. And they were kind to me. They helped me to settle in when I came to Laron's household."
"What happened to them?" Riki asked softly.
"They both reached maturity about a year ago." One slender shoulder lifted in a matter of fact way. "Laron took them together into his office at home, just after that, and he showed them what he and Kalad had found out about your Hepstra relocation program, ironically enough." Esra's eyes sparkled wryly. "They chose to go to Hepstra together. I still write to them and hear from them every couple or months or so. They seem really happy."
"Laron showed them?" For some reason, Riki found that he was genuinely startled by that. Normally, most of the Elites he had sourced maturing Pets from wouldn't have been bothered to spare as much as a thought to it, leaving the matter wholly in the hands of their Furnitures.
"Yes," Esra nodded earnestly. "He's very thorough with details, Riki. I mean, the idea that he wouldn't have fully investigated the possible options available to his 'retiring' Pets..." Esra chuckled and shook his head, "well, it would be totally out of character for him."
"Mmm," Riki pulled a thoughtful little face. "Is he pretty highly strung, your guy?"
"You would think so, wouldn't you? But he's not. He's really not."
"Yeah, Elites can handle a hell of a lot of stress, I know that much." Riki sipped his own coffee, sighed his approval and set his cup down, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table, grinning at his young friend. "Take Iason, for example. Leader of the Syndicate, fully anal-retentive when it comes to accuracy and organization, bearing the entire weight of Amoi on his shoulders day in day out and yet, at home, with me, even at work – he's so calm and in control that he practically personifies Zen."
Esra snorted softly. "Annoying at times, isn't it?"
A great guffaw of delighted laughter burst from Riki's belly. Controlling himself, he wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes and nodded, his lips still twitching. "Esra, that was priceless. And yeah, you are so right." Riki sat back once more, looking interestedly at the ex-Pet. "So, what's life like for you now that you're a Companion? I mean, we're both here at the same place in life... but we approached it from such a different angle. What's the transition like?"
"Difficult at first," Esra toyed with his cup, even white teeth worrying at his full lower lip for a moment. "I kept feeling that somehow I was stepping out of line. Laron pretty much had to constantly reassure me that I was allowed to speak my mind, get a job, own my own things, make a choice, say no... It was a huge change for me."
"I could imagine, man," fascinated, Riki nodded for the young man to continue.
"It took time, but it got better." Esra lifted one slender shoulder. "And, I like having some independence now. It's... well, it's liberating," he chuckled at the inadvertently bad joke he'd just made.
Laughing with him, Riki took another sip of coffee. "Okay, so what's the job like?"
"Good," Esra nodded, "I like it. I like the structure, the strict rules of archiving. I mean, you've either got things catalogued correctly, or you don't. There are no grey areas to confuse things."
"Limits."
"Yes," Esra's expression was touched faintly with relief. "I'm glad you understand. I still need them, you see."
"Yeah, but you'll continue to learn and to grow, Esra, don't forget that." Riki reached out and clasped Esra's forearm gently for second. "As you gain more experience and more confidence in your own abilities, you'll find that you won't need those old safety nets anymore." He shrugged, his face pensive. "Y'know in all honesty, you probably don't even need them now."
"You might be right," Esra said softly, "but one step at a time is more comfortable to me."
"Can't argue with that," Riki winked amiably. "So, you were telling me about the job..?"
"I was," Esra also sat back in his seat, his expression completely open and without guile. "I like my boss. His name is Sami and he's about fifty years old. Actually, if it wasn't for him... I probably wouldn't still be working there."
"Why's that?"
The ex-Pet's eyes grew a little sad. "Well, the other staff, the civilians working there... they don't like talking to me, or interacting with me at all, really."
"Oh, you are shitting me," Riki murmured.
"I wish I was." Esra shrugged. "Sami tells me it's because I make them feel bad about Pets, about the way they all used to see them."
"As nothing but objects, right?"
"Hmm," Esra dropped his gaze to the table-top for a moment, "But because I'm a real person, able to think and feel and do the same things they do... well, Sami says its shame."
"Sami sounds like good people to me."
The younger man looked up again, his smile returning. "Yes. He is."
"And what does Laron say about it?"
Esra chuckled wryly. "He agrees with Sami."
"Well," Riki drawled as he pulled a rather artfully bland face at Esra, casually crossed his legs, and saluted the ex-Pet with his coffee cup, "I happen to have a specific saying for situations, like the one you've encountered at your work, that I really feel might help you here."
"Oh?"
"Yeah," Riki flashed a wise-assed grin. "It's 'fuck 'em'. You can't go wrong with it."
Esra snickered, his dark eyes sparkling with momentarily wicked delight. "Oh, could you imagine the looks on their faces if I was say something like that?"
"Could be worth a try."
Esra snorted gracelessly. "I'll think about it."
"Fair enough," Riki signaled the waiter again. "I mean, a good old fashioned insult always worked for me... but then, clearly, you have much better manners." Riki winked at him again. "Anyway, the best part is the change in your relationship with Laron, right? Those airheads you work with can't touch that joy, can they?"
"No." A soft blush rose on Esra's smooth cheeks. "No they can't... and it's wonderful, Riki, really knowing that he loves me."
"It is, isn't it?" Riki paused as the waiter delivered their next round and cleared away the empties before continuing. "And the thing I really love..? Is that all those useless fucking barriers are down, y'know? He can touch you. He can kiss you and put his arms around you and no-one, Elite or civilian, can tell him that it's not okay. In a very real way, he's now as free as you are."
"I never thought of it like that before." Esra's eyes filled with deep thought. "But you're absolutely right." The young man hesitated then, once more biting his lower lip, this time almost nervously.
Seeing the change, Riki leaned forward and lowered his voice a little. "Any question is good, Esra, okay? I'm not shy about my life... so if you want to know, just ask."
Nodding, Esra drew in a deep breath. "I know that this is probably going to sound really odd, but," he winced slightly, lifting one shoulder in a brief uncomfortable gesture, "do you and Sir Iason... do you have sex?"
Riki blinked. In truth, of all the questions he had expected, that really wasn't one of them. Frankly, Pets lived a pretty earthy kind of existence, with sexual activity being a regular feature of their daily planner. He was actually quite surprised at the thought that Esra might think his relationship with Laron was any different in that regard to Riki's and Iason's.
Still, he had promised – any question was a good one, so... "Well, yeah," Riki nodded in a matter of fact way. "It's part of a healthy adult relationship, don't you think?"
Rather than relaxing, Esra looked even more awkward. "Do you do it a lot?"
Tilting his head, Riki felt his brows draw together, puzzlement rising. "Uhm... fairly often, yes."
"Every night?"
"Ohhh-kay," Riki held up one hand, "I'm kinda of seeing a pattern coming out here, kid—," He fell silent, clarity arriving in a sudden rush. The young ex-Pet's discomfort, the nature of the questions, suddenly made perfect sense. "Esra... are you telling me that you and Laron don't?"
"Well... we kind of do." Esra stared into his coffee, his face growing anxious.
"Kind of do..?"
Looking up, Esra grimaced slightly as he answered, "Well... The truth, Riki, is that I never performed publicly that much."
Riki nodded, "I figured that."
"Yes. Well," Esra absently drew little patterns on the table top with one slender finger, "On those occasions that I did perform at Apathia, I never received a partner from a draw. Ever. It was always pre-arranged by Laron."
"I see."
"I performed with Kati and Dahn a couple of times," he smiled slightly, "and that was always very nice... and Laron picked a partner for me called Pia. She was about my age and we actually liked each other so that was fine, too."
Riki had stilled, his entire being focused on the young man in front of him. "There's going to be a 'however' in here somewhere, isn't there?" he murmured gently, "I can just feel it."
A tiny smile flitted across Esra's face. "However...," he inclined his head in a little bow, "mostly, I performed privately for Laron."
"Ah," Riki felt a little smirk of remembrance cross his face. "Yeah, Iason used to have me do that too. I wasn't exactly what you might call a 'success' at the Pet shows."
"No?" Esra raised a delicate brow. "That surprises me. You're so nice to look at; I would have thought you'd have been very popular."
"Well, I'm sure I would have been," Riki snorted with dry humor, "if the shows had been about street brawling."
"Oh," Esra wet his lips, manfully struggling to hide his amusement. "That, uhm... legendary temper of yours, hmm?"
"That'd be the one, yeah," Riki chuckled. "Still, even I couldn't mess up jerking off, so Iason got me to do private solo performances, instead."
Of course, Riki mused inwardly; those performances hadn't stayed 'solo' for long. Not that such information was worth mentioning to Esra in this case. Or indeed, ever.
"It's not that Laron doesn't keep me happy, sexually," Esra continued, "because he does. He touches me now, instead of just letting me do it. And it's really much, much nicer than doing it for myself."
"That's a fact," Riki noted clinically.
"The thing is... even though he's very affectionate towards me he doesn't seem to want me to do anything for him."
"Ah."
Esra nodded almost gloomily. "Yes."
"Well," Riki frowned, thinking it over. "Is it possible that he's just not actually interested in the sexual side of things? I mean, Elites can be pretty cerebral creatures, Esra. Maybe just touching you is enough for him."
"I... I don't think so," Esra replied softly. "He holds me on his lap when he takes care of me and I can feel how hard he gets."
Riki snorted. "Let me guess, it's a bit like sitting on a flag pole?"
Esra's eyes flashed with amusement. "Yes. Very much so." He sobered again. "His breathing deepens and gets all ragged. His skin gets really warm and, sometimes, his hands even shake."
Riki made a soft sound of acknowledgment from deep in his chest. "Well, that sounds pretty turned on to me." Propping one elbow on the table, Riki rested his chin in his hand. "Do you think he's just worried about hurting you?"
"That's probably the most likely answer, I think," Esra nodded. "I'm quite small, even for someone genetically bred as a Pet. I'm nowhere near as resilient as, say – you or Katze would be."
"Yeah, mongrel stock is pretty tough. But – look," Riki straightened up, holding Esra's gaze soberly, "Elites have incredible physical control. Seriously, the truth is, Iason could rip me apart with his bare hands. It wouldn't even raise a sweat on him. He could so easily hurt me, a lot, during sex. But he never will. Even when things get really hot, he has this balance, y'know? Where he gives the actual lovemaking, the passion and the physicality, his absolute everything but still holds his strength in check. Katze tells me that Raoul is exactly the same. There's really no reason why Laron should feel worried about hurting you." He frowned then, looking closely at Esra. "There is one question I'd like to ask you at this stage, though."
"Yes?"
Riki smiled gently. "Why haven't you actually asked Laron about any of this?"
Esra froze, his mouth half open and his eyes widening. "Uh..." he managed at length. "Well, I..." he sat back, realization crossing his face. "You know something Riki?" he asked in an almost wondering tone.
"Mmm?"
"I didn't ask him because I still had this feeling that it would be wrong, completely out of line, to speak to him about it." Esra shook his head. "It never even crossed my mind to question that," he breathed, pulling a rueful little face.
"Okay," Riki's voice was very warm, his manner kindly. "So, it looks to me like we might have a solution here, wouldn't you say?"
Esra's rich mouth curved into a smile.
Chuckling, Riki picked up his coffee and swallowed the last mouthful. "D'you know what you're going to do?"
"Yes," Esra replied, confidence back in his voice. He grinned at Riki, his smile brightening his lovely face. "I'm going to ask nicely."
Riki vented another delighted laugh. "Good plan," he nodded approvingly at his young friend. "Damn good plan."
Walking back across the Atrium, towards the anteroom where the main lift well to Eos Tower was located, Esra found himself attaining an incredibly good mood. The two or so hours that he had spent in Riki's company had been both entertaining and enlightening. Laron had been right, as usual. His new mongrel friend was both fascinating and valuable to know. Proof in point, Esra had only spent a couple of hours with him and he now had an understanding of why his and Laron's intimacy had stalled and a plan on what to do about it.
It was a rare moment where Esra actually experienced any level of smugness, but he had to admit that a tiny touch of it had crept in to his chest right now.
As he neared the exit to the lobby, Esra smiled again, fondly, thinking once again on the genuine enigma that was Riki. They had parted ways at the cafe a few minutes earlier, with Riki going off to attend to some of his own personal errands in the main shopping sector of the greater Eos Central area, before having to return back to his apartment for another meeting with his colleague in the Hepstra relocation project.
Hepstra... Esra hummed thoughtfully as he entered the anteroom. There was another reason to admire Riki the mongrel. Not only did the program itself offer ongoing options, in a word – hope, to Pets that were no longer wanted by their masters, but rumor had it that he had just walked into a factory where ex-Pets were being used as free labor and freed one to run the program! Of course Esra was almost certain there was more to it than that. Then again, he was coming to realize that with Riki, such a thing was entirely possible.
Riki had genuine guts, and a real flair for using them.
One day, Esra shook his head ruefully, he hoped to emulate that.
Slowing his gait as he crossed the anteroom to the lift well, Esra took in his surroundings and noted a familiar figure already waiting for the lift to the tower. He felt himself tense, almost unbidden, as he got closer.
It was, unfortunately, a most familiar figure.
Nearing the taller man, Esra nodded calmly. "Sash," he greeted him quietly, his voice modulated to show neither fear nor anxiety.
Sash's beautiful but cold eyes swept the immediate area, noting that he was alone. "Not in the company of your mongrel bodyguards today, Esra?"
Esra glanced at the panel beside the lift doors, noting that the button had already been pressed to summon them down. "Actually, I just had coffee with Riki. I'm just on my way home." He smiled slightly, glancing sideways at Sash, "And you?"
Sash's full lips curled into a tiny sneer, "As if you care."
Esra shrugged, turning to face forward once more, watching the floor numbers complete their rapid countdown as the carriage drew closer to the lobby.
"So you're in good with the mongrel set, now," Sash remarked as the lift doors slid open at last, "I can't really say that I'm surprised. After all, I can see why finding friends with the same lack of intelligence as you have would be comforting."
Esra frowned as they stepped into the lift together, not in upset but in genuine curiosity. Sash's tone, his insults, had sounded less scathing than normal; that was the first thing he noticed, as if Sash couldn't be bothered to put any real effort into it. Esra tilted his head, looking almost clinically at the sleekly muscled Pet in the soft illumination of the lift's downlights. It was also unusual to see Sash alone down in the lobby area, instead of holding court to a dozen or so subordinate Pets, but what stood out most of all to Esra's sharp eye for detail was Sash's pallor. He seemed very pale today, and his manner - for all his nasty little remarks - was almost subdued.
Obviously seeing Esra's scrutiny, Sash stilled, staring back almost defiantly into Esra's eyes. "What?" he demanded after a moment.
Esra peered carefully at him. "Are you all right, Sash?" he asked softly.
For the barest moment, Sash's eyes actually widened with frank surprise. Then they immediately narrowed again, the Pet's usual cold and disdainful mask sliding neatly into place. "Oh, please," he literally spat the words. "Spare me your 'oh-so-sincere' concerned act, Esra. We both know that if I dropped off the face of the planet right now, you wouldn't give the smallest damn about it."
"That's not actually true, Sash," Esra replied, almost sadly.
He really just didn't understand Sash. He really didn't.
"Right," Sash shot back flatly. A small sly smile rose on his flawless face. "You know what, Esra? If I was you I wouldn't be wasting my energy worrying about other people. I'd be more inclined to worry about what I was going to do with no more money coming into my household."
Esra blinked, honestly puzzled by that remark. "What do you mean?"
Sash stared at him. "Oh come on, Esra. Everybody knows what happened; why are you even bothering to play coy about it?"
Baffled, and feeling the first stages of real anxiety beginning to rise, Esra shook his head. "Sash," he said clearly, "I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about."
"Really," Sash's entire sardonic tone was modulated to express his disbelief. "You're telling me that you don't know that your own Companion was fired by Master Kyle?"
Esra actually felt his face drain of blood.
Sash stopped, mid-hiss, his eyes widening. "You really didn't, did you?" he asked softly as the lift drew to a halt on Esra's level.
His mind racing, his heart pounding fit to burst, Esra shook his head.
Sash huffed a harsh little laugh. "How sad," he muttered coldly. "Things actually don't change all that much from Pet to Companion, do they? Even in your loving Sapphire's eyes, Esra, you're still just a second-class citizen. Not even worth confiding in. Just like the rest of us."
"Excuse me," Esra whispered, stepping out of the lift into the lobby area of his apartment. He barely heard Sash saying his name, calling him back as he walked away. He was trembling, his breath short and shaky. As he reached his door, entered the security code and walked through into the front entrance on a kind auto-pilot, one thought kept looping desperately through his mind.
Sash was lying. He had to be lying.
Laron wouldn't possibly... surely not. He would never keep something that big, that important, from Esra. And he certainly didn't think that Esra was not worth talking to. Laron, thought Esra, was perfect just the way he was, smart and full of potential... equal in his eyes and his heart.
Didn't he?
"Sir Esra," Kalad's voice, filled with concern cut through the maelstrom in Esra's head as he moved into the main area of the apartment. The Furniture had slowed his own steps as he had reached the young man, his eyes widening with worry as he obviously took in Esra's state. "Did something happen, Esra?" Kalad dropped the honorific, lowering his voice to the gentle tone he used to use when Esra was still quite young. His expression hardened and grew coldly angry. "Did someone hurt you?"
Esra shook his head, "Kalad?"
"Yes?" Kalad searched his face with anxious eyes.
"Do you know where Laron is right now?"
Kalad blinked, looking even more concerned than before. "Well, at work, I would imagine. Why do you ask such a thing?"
"Would you call him for me, please? Now?"
Kalad gave him an odd look, but went to the apartment's comm unit without question, lifting the handset and dialing in the number for Laron office. As the line was obviously answered, Kalad asked to speak to his master before frowning deeply and returning the handset to its cradle. "That's very strange," he murmured, looking up at Esra. "They just told me Master Laron left the department several days ago."
A soft sound of distress came from Esra's chest. He sank, white faced and filled with upset, onto the sofa, shaking his head helplessly, the room around him blurring as he felt the hot burn of tears behind his eyes.
Sash had told the truth.
It was Laron who had lied.
The journey itself... – chapter 8 << >> The journey itself... – chapter 10