To thine own self
by Ainzfern
4
Two days later, Raoul Am found himself reluctantly ensconced behind his desk in Jupiter Tower. Having no real excuses left either to himself, or Iason, to avoid catching up on his Syndicate administrative paperwork, he had almost sorrowfully excused himself from the Bio-Lab for the morning, vowing to clear his desk as quickly as possible so that he could return to his team.
Quite frankly, he couldn't wait to get back.
It was an odd thing to admit, but he was actually having fun on this project.
The reason, he supposed, was Katze. The man was inspiring, in a rough and unfettered kind of way. He had boundless energy when it came to the challenges presented by the project, and Raoul had found that his entire team of techs and scientific advisors had been literally swept up in it.
As had he.
New ideas were being brought out. All suggestions, from any team member, no matter how minor or inexperienced, were given due consideration. Better, easier, faster, more inexpensive solutions were presenting themselves every day...
Because of Katze.
Extraordinary. Raoul smiled almost fondly to himself.
Quite extraordinary.
"Ah, Raoul! What a genuine surprise to find you actually in this office. I thought you were practically imprisoned over at the Bio-Lab."
Stifling an almost immediate sigh when he heard the entirely unwelcome tones of Tahna Lam's voice, Raoul set his reports to one side and looked up, his expression carefully neutral, as Tahna entered his office and sat, uninvited, in the chair facing his desk. His eyes narrowed slightly, the only outward sign of his displeasure that he would willingly show to this man.
He did not like Tahna. He never had and, although he was always unfailingly polite to him and a consummate professional in his dealings with him, Raoul simply had to admit that he found this particular Elite's tendency towards viciousness immensely tiring. Tahna was, without a doubt, a fine physical specimen of an Elite Blondie, with his perfect features, his impressive height that matched Raoul's own, and his wealth of golden hair almost as pale as Iason Mink's.
But as to his character? Well, Raoul had to admit the man was sorely lacking in many of the more admirable traits.
And, sadly, baiting Raoul Am seemed to be one of Tahna's more irksome habits. Privately, Raoul had always suspected the reason for this was pure jealousy. Tahna had always envisioned himself as a far more suitable candidate for Raoul's position as second in command of the Tanagura Syndicate; and the fact that Jupiter had chosen Raoul, rather than Tahna, to run the Syndicate in Iason's absence not so long ago was something that Tahna, apparently, still deeply resented.
"Tahna," Raoul nodded coolly. "How may I assist you?"
"Oh, with nothing too pressing, I assure you," Tahna smiled at him. It was a beautiful smile, to be certain but, as always, Raoul detected the ever-present shade of delighted vindictiveness in it.
Tahna was up to something, although what, Raoul could not even begin to guess.
"Then to what do I owe this..." Raoul paused for a moment, "...pleasure?" he finished blandly.
With his violet eyes twinkling as if the thinly veiled insult had amused him, Tahna shrugged lightly. "Simply a courtesy visit, Raoul," Tahna assured him with mock-sincerity. "Between colleagues."
"How uncharacteristic of you."
"Still charming to the last, I note," Tahna flicked a thick lock of hair off his smooth brow with one elegant hand.
Shaking his head, Raoul held up one hand firmly. "Tahna, as you can no doubt see, I am extremely busy." He nodded to the stack of reports he still needed to peruse.
"Yes you are these days, aren't you?" Tahna's eyes narrowed, slightly. "Quite a sizable project that Iason has lumbered you with, converting all those now-useless Pet breeding chambers into healing tanks for miscellaneous federation riff-raff." He smiled sadly, and sighed. "Still dancing whenever Iason jerks on your strings, I see."
Raoul's lips thinned and he pulled in a deep breath. "Tahna, if you are daring to attempt any manner of undermining of Iason Mink's authori- -"
"I am doing no such thing," Tahna flicked an impatient hand at him, "I am simply making an observation."
"Then, perhaps you might care to make your observations elsewhere."
Ignoring that, Tahna settled a little more comfortably into his seat, staring at Raoul with an odd little look on his face. "I note, however, that Iason has seen fit to provide you with some assistance in your medical endeavors," he continued, "Giving you that little Furniture he used to own... Oh, what was his name again?" he paused, meeting Raoul's eyes questioningly.
Raoul remained silent, his jaw beginning to clench.
"Ahyes. Katze," Tahna snapped his fingers, his smile widening. "Quite a fascinating little creature, isn't he? Or, at least..." Tahna's look almost offensively knowing, "...apparently, you seem to think so."
"I don't think I care for the tone of that remark, Tahna," Raoul's reply was contemptuous. "I have engaged the man to work for me, as you well know."
"Oh, come now, Raoul, don't be so coy," Tahna's eyes grew even more pleased as he realized his barb had gotten through. "Most of us in the Syndicate have despaired of you ever finding a diversion outside of your sterile Bio-Lab these days... I mean, really, you spent all that time, all that effort, manufacturing the most gorgeous Pets, and yet you no longer own any of them yourself? But that is the very thingabout you that we all so admirenow, isn't it? You're so cerebral, so above all those undignified sensual pleasures. For you, it's now all about the science."
"Tahna..." Raoul's tone became dangerously soft. "I am warning you..."
Tahna sobered suddenly, all traces of humor leaving his face. "And that, Raoul, is exactly what I am trying to do for you."
"Explain."
"It wasn't such a cause for comment when it was just the fact that the creature, this Katze of yours, was simply attending your office at the Bio-Lab regularly." Tahna sat forward, his eyes intent on Raoul's face. "That could be excused as merely a requirement of the project. But you have been seen, Raoul – In Eos Central no less, in the company of that neutered mongrel, more than once! Honestly, Raoul, it's beneath you, it's beneath your station, and quite frankly it is starting to have an effect on the way your Syndicate brethren view you."
With conscious effort, Raoul unclenched his white knuckled hands. "And am I to assume that you were nominated by the others to talk to me about this?" he asked in voice filled with derision and disbelief.
If he noted the tone, Tahna gave no indication of it. "No," he replied evenly, "I took it upon myself."
"Hmm."
"I'm quite serious about this, Raoul, in spite of our past differences."
"Oh, I'm sure you are." Raoul sat back slightly. "Strange that Iason himself has not mentioned any of this to me."
"Well, he wouldn't, would he?" Tahna murmured. "He's your dearest friend, isn't he? I'm sure he'd be inclined to the occasional white lie if he thought it would spare your feelings."
Raoul almost laughed. "You really don't know the man at all, then."
"Perhaps," Tahna stroked his chin with the long fingers of one hand. "And then, perhaps, Iason is just a little too biased about mongrels to want to correct you. Although..." Tahna idly inspected his fingernails, "one can't certainly blame Iason for his enthrallment with that little ex-Pet of his. Quite a stunning little animal, isn't he?"
Once more, Raoul refrained from even gracing that remark with a reply.
Nodding, as if he'd expected no less, Tahna got to his feet. "I'm sure I've said enough."
"Indeed you have."
"Well," Tahna shrugged one broad shoulder. "I suppose it actually does make sense, in a pitiful kind of way," he looked haughtily down at Raoul. "You seem to have outgrown your own desire for the sensual pursuits... so I can personally see the wisdom of your practically courting a creature that could never perform for you in that regard."
Rising slowly, his hands flat on the desk to keep them from simply reaching out and slapping the smirk right off that beautiful condescending face, his own expression rigid with barely controlled fury, Raoul met Tahna's eyes with a level stare. "You will leave this office now, Tahna," he gritted out. "I have little time for your juvenile gossip-mongering, or your graceless insults."
"Ohhh, practically dripping with malice, aren't you?" Tahna rich mouth curved into a tiny sneer. "Fine. Of course I'll leave. But don't say I didn't try to warn you." He turned swiftly, an offended air radiating from him and strode to the door. As he reached the exit however, he paused, looking back over his shoulder at Raoul through lowered lashes. "They are laughing behind your back, Raoul," he said, his eyes glinting oddly, "...and considering how poorly that fact sits upon an Elite who was always so revered for his massive dignity, I thought you ought to know. Just something to consider."
With that as his parting shot, Tahna left.
In the silence following his exit, Raoul slowly sat back down, breathing deeply and composing himself. His face was grim, his eyes hard and narrowed, and his mind was filled with all manner of thoughts both dark and disturbing. But through sheer force of will, he pushed them, at least momentarily, to one side, returning to his reports. As intended, when he first arrived, he would clear his desk of whatever administrational duties required attention, and then return to his Bio-Lab to continue overseeing the modifications to the amniotic tanks. He was methodical. Thorough. A creature of habit.
Raoul briefly glanced at the doorway of his office, his green eyes both troubled and angry.
He was also an Elite. An Elite in a changing world, perhaps, but still an Elite. Disrespect did not sit well with him.
Perhaps it was time to remind certain individuals of that fact.
Perhaps it was time to remind himself.
"Okay..." Katze entered Raoul's Bio-Lab office without fanfare a few moments later and dumped the latest neat stack of test results on the edge of his desk, "We've located the trouble with the cardio-respiratory sensors."
"I see." Without looking up at him, Raoul pulled the stack closer to himself and began to leaf through the data.
"Yeah. Turned out the cabling for those specific sensors was too close to the main interior junction box. Kept causing a feedback loop. So I got your techs to re-route the circuits and add a shielding plate before we reinserted the whole system back into the tank, and..." Katze rounded the desk and leaned slightly over Raoul's shoulder, pointing out a significant entry, "as you can see here the comparison in the readouts before and after the adjustments indicates we no longer have a problem. And I believe, Raoul, that this means you owe me lunch." Katze felt the same little surge of satisfaction warming his chest, as he always did when a solution presented itself to him. He smiled smugly, glancing down at Raoul, waiting for the Blondie to reply.
When Raoul finally did, it was not at all what Katze had expected.
With a low, almost irritated sigh, Raoul straightened in his seat slightly, his green eyes still fixed upon the readout before him. "Step back from me, Katze."
Blinking, startled, Katze peered askance at the top of Raoul's dark blond head. "Uh... Excuse me?"
"I believe I was perfectly clear," Raoul finally turned and faced him, his green eyes cold and almost hostile. "I told you to step back."
Katze felt an icy little sliver of unease work its way up his spine. Taking a couple of slow steps away from the Elite, he held both hands up warily. "Raoul?" he shook his head, completely baffled by this turn of events, "What's the matter?"
Rising slowly to his feet Raoul's eyes narrowed dangerously as he towered over the shocked ex-Furniture. "Just that I am becoming rather weary of you continuing to take these inappropriate liberties."
Katze stared at him, shaking his head. "Wh...?"
"In future, Katze," Raoul said his name as thought it tasted foul in his mouth, "when you are here in a professional capacity, you will act in an appropriate manner. That means you will announce yourself before walking in to my office, and you will refrain from being overly-familiar," his full mouth twisted into a derisive little sneer. "Iason might have seen fit to technically release you from your former post, for reasons I can only speculate upon, but you would do well to realize that you are still just a Furniture. Soremember your place." Raoul shrugged, almost dismissively, his expression becoming aloof and distant. "And remember, too, that I have far better things to do with my personal time than humor the insignificant whims of a mongrel."
Katze felt his face freeze, actually felt the blood draining from it, leaving his cheeks strangely cold. A hard and painful knot of emotion coiled into his stomach, something that was far deeper than just disappointment, but he clenched his jaw and willed his expression to remain blank.
After all, really, deep within himself... hadn't he just always known that this would happen? That the Elite would tire of him?
Raoul was right. He was just Furniture, when it all came down to it... and a scarred and aging one, at that. What manner of friendship could he possibly have to offer an Elite? What did he have worth offering at all besides a conveniently useful gift for planning and technology?
And now that there was no longer any need for those skills here, well...
It had happened before. Iason had turned from him, too. Katze almost vented a harsh sigh at the thought, but controlled himself just in time. His former master had found a far more suitable match with Riki, who was beautiful and spirited and challenging. And whole. And Katze had understood that, he really had. He'd always known that the quiet secret feelings he had harbored for Iason Mink would never have been returned.
But it had still hurt.
Just as this hurt now.
Raoul had resumed his seat, continuing to leaf through the data that Katze had placed before him as if the red-head was not even there.
"So..." Katze's voice caught for a second, but he cleared his throat, swallowing hard and trying again. "So, Master Am," his eyes closed for a moment, "do have any further use for me in regards to the lab equipment?"
"Not at this stage," Raoul did not even glance up. "If I require your technical assistance in the future I shall make a request to that effect through Iason."
To his own mild astonishment, Katze actually felt himself sway for an instant, as if the sheer coldness of Raoul's tone had struck him physically.
Head still bent industriously over the readout, Raoul vented another impatient sigh. "That is all. You may leave."
"Of course, Master Am," Katze whispered tightly. Then, with his shoulders rigidly tight and his chest filled with an almost crushing sense of sorrow and something very close to betrayal, he walked slowly from the room, from the lab, and from the building, his face a pale mask of careful control.
He did not look back.
To thine own self – chapter 3 << >> To thine own self – chapter 5