Touching hope
by Ainzfern
Current day
Guy sat at the bar of Depraved's, nursing his stout with his single hand whilst, all around him, an intensely deep and wary silence spread out across Bison members, their various hangers-on, and general bar regulars alike. He sat in silence, his eyes narrowed in a bleakly thoughtful way and his gaze staring fixedly out the grimy windows at the sleek black vehicle beyond.
"Luke?" Guy said quietly enough, but with a clear note of absolute authority in his tone, "Put the fuckin' gun away."
"What..?!" Luke turned towards him, his handgun raised, his expression shocked.
"You won't need it." Slowly, Guy slid off his seat, straightening his leather jacket carefully with his single hand. "There's no Elite in that car."
Over by the door, Sid frowned, looking deeply concerned as he stared at his leader. "You sure, Guy?"
"Yeah."
"So... what d'we do?"
"You guys are doing nothing," Gay rapped out as he crossed the floor. "I'll handle this. Stay here."
Although the faces of his men showed that they were deeply unhappy about it, Guy knew that they all had a lot more sense than to argue with him. He was no longer the kind of man that anyone wanted to come up against, one-armed or not. Whatever minimal sense of humor Guy once might have had was well and truly gone, burned away by harsh experience and well-remembered pain. So, when he told his men to do something, they damned well did it.
So... although they obviously did not like it, there was not a single voice raised in objection as Guy neared the exit of the bar.
"Guy? Please don't, man."
Except for one...
Guy stopped and sighed, and then smiled ever so slightly in spite of himself. He turned, looking at the young man who was standing by the pool table on the far side of the room, a cue in his hand and clear worry in his eyes.
"Kaiya," Guy walked over to him, stopping just a foot away before reaching out to close his hand over a tense and unhappily hunched shoulder. "Don't worry, kid. I know what I'm doing."
Kaiya's expression hardened a touch. "Whoever's out there has come from Eos, Guy," he said tightly, his dark eyes flicking to the sleeve-covered stump of Guys' missing arm. "It can't be good news."
Guy shook his head. As much as he could feel affection for anyone or anything these days, he had to admit that Kaiya was up there on the top of the list.
Guy knew that the rest of Bison felt kind of sorry for the kid.
And he knew why.
Kaiya was dark haired and dark eyed, smaller than most men in Ceres, but still compactly muscled and strong... and his resemblance to a young man who was once known as 'Riki the Dark' was absolutely amazing.
But, as the weeks had passed, Guy had come to realize that, while Kaiya might look like Riki, he was very much a uniquely different person. He had his own likes and dislikes, his own dreams and desires. He was clever and quiet. He rarely got angry but, at the same time, there was literally no force in the world that could get him to do something that he didn't want to do.
And he loved Guy... bad dreams and ruined body and impatient temper and all.
Now, lifting his hand to briefly grip Kaiya's jaw with his fingers, Guy felt the same sense of certainty that he had come to know with great familiarity over the past few months.
The kid loved him. For Guy, that had become more than enough.
"I want you to stay in here, Kaiya," he told the young man. "I won't be long."
"Guy, no—"
Guy deliberately turned his back on Kaiya's pleading eyes, summoning Sid over with a sharp jerk of his chin. "You keep him in here, Sid, you follow me?" he ordered flatly.
Sid nodded, picking up a spare cue and moving into place beside the table, not exactly standing over the young man, but close enough to grab him if the need was there.
Ignoring Kaiya's low-voiced and fervent swearing, Guy walked back toward the exit of the bar. Lifting his chin and pulling in a deep breath, he pushed the door open and stepped out into the mid-morning light, approaching the limousine without hesitation or visible anxiety.
The fact was, he knew he didn't have anything to worry about here.
He knew who was in that damned car.
And he also knew that he didn't want Kaiya anywhere near it.
One and a half years prior
Kaiya first met Guy of Bison just before his fifteenth birthday. He ran into him, literally, in the street right outside the apartment block where Kaiya and his uncle lived. He and his two pals, Hikaru and Joey, were playing their own rough and ready version of soccer in the front of their apartment block when Kaiya kicked a beautiful shot, straight past Joey's goal-line; well... straight past the two piles of junk that served as Joey's goal-line.
Joey shot him a disgruntled look. "Aw man... you suck."
Kaiya just laughed. He was a good-natured enough kid for the slums and, besides, he knew Joey didn't mean it. "You mean you suck at blocking, Jo-Jo," he called back, while Hikaru snickered off to one side.
"I'm not gonna play if you keep winning all the time."
Kaiya sighed. Joey was younger, only twelve, and he had a way of being whiny at times when things didn't go right for him. Kaiya figured he'd have to have a talk to the boy pretty soon about that; about toughening himself up a little if he wanted to make it to adulthood in the slums. But, aside from that, Joey was okay. Besides, outside of Hikaru, who was sixteen, he was the only kid in the block close to Kaiya's age who wasn't still over in school at Guardian.
Kaiya himself had spent a couple of years there. But he'd pretty much learned everything that they had wanted to teach him. In his thirteenth year, he'd been assessed as a potential Furniture, like most of the kids at Guardian, but the man who'd come to see them hadn't liked the look of him. Kaiya had taken that pretty philosophically at the time. Besides, some of the boys in the dorm had told him that they cut your balls off when you went to work for Elites, so Kaiya had figured he was glad enough to come back to the slums and try to get some kind of work from the local Ceres market fence when he got older.
Plus, he had his uncle to think about. Who would look after the old man if he didn't?
Pushing those thoughts aside, Kaiya pointed in the direction the ball had gone. "Jo-Jo," he called out again. "Go grab the ball, okay? I promise to shoot some easier ones your way."
Joey glared at him, crossing his arms. "No way," he called back. "It's your fuckin' ball, man, you go get it."
Heaving a sigh, Kaiya shared a long-suffering glance with Hikaru.
"You better just get it, Kaiya," Hikaru said disgustedly. "He'll stand there and argue all day if you don't."
Kaiya snorted and jogged in the direction his ball had gone. Hikaru was right, though. By the time he'd shouted Joey into submission, it'd be easier to just grab the ball himself. Besides, if he left it unattended for too long, some fucker might take it. "You're such a fuckin' kid, Jo-Jo," he ragged the boy as he jogged past. "Am not!"
Snorting, Kaiya ran on along the street. The ball had actually gone a pretty decent distance. It really had been a beautiful kick. He spotted it, resting in the gutter just beyond the entrance to one of the alleys that lead onto his street and he picked up his pace, striding it out with his gangly teenager's legs. But, as he passed the alley-way, he found himself coming to a teeth-rattling stop, running right smack into something that seemed as solid as a wall. Landing on his ass in the road he looked up and saw, with no small amount of dismay, that he must have run into one of the two men who had just stepped out of the alley-way, and who were now staring down at him.
"Hey kid," one of the men, the slightly shorter of the two, growled at him, "Watch where you're fuckin' goin'!"
"Sorry, man." Kaiya scooted backwards on his butt a little bit, his eyes widening when he saw the oddly discreet patch on the shoulder of the man's jacket.
They were gang members. Worse... they were Bison.
"I'm really sorry," he said again. He risked a quick glance over his shoulder and saw that Hikaru and Joey had already disappeared.
Typical. Gone at the first sign of trouble.
He turned back, bracing himself for the boot in the ass, but it never happened. Instead, the man who had spoken was just staring real hard at him from behind his sunglasses, a weird look on his face. He shook his head, turning to the taller man, the one who had remained silent the whole time. "Holy shit. Man, that's fuckin' uncanny."
The taller of the two grunted a soft sound of acknowledgment, his hard eyes staring steadily at Kaiya's face. "Grab the kid's ball, Luke," he said softly. He had a good voice for a gang member, Kaiya inexplicably thought, kind of roughened and dangerous-sounding.
Moving quickly, the one named Luke scooped up the ball and returned, holding it balanced on one hand. "This what you were after, kid?" he asked, grinning down at Kaiya.
"Uhm... yeah." Kaiya glanced back and forth between them for a moment. "Can I have it back?"
"Don't know," Luke snorted, obviously amused. "What d'you think, Guy?"
Kaiya gulped, looking sharply at Luke's companion. Unable to help it, he stared at the man's left shoulder, his guts sinking when he saw that his arm was indeed missing. It really was Guy. Guy of Bison. He had just smacked right into Guy of Bison. This was really not a good place to be in right now. Of course he'd heard the stories, everybody had. Guy of Bison was the coldest meanest son of a bitch you'd ever want to meet. Guy of Bison had fought a Blondie. Guy led the toughest gang in the central slums. Guy kept the bodies, of all the men that had crossed him, in a trunk at the food of his bed.
Although, Kaiya had always wondered about that one. Seemed to him it would have to be one huge fuckin' trunk...
"What, you lookin' to catch flies kid?" Luke snapped, scowling down at him. "Close your fuckin' mouth."
Kaiya realized he'd been gaping at the missing limb, and he snapped his mouth shut, averting his gaze, scared of giving offence. Especially to these men. "I'm... I'm really sorry, man," he said again, just for good measure.
Guy didn't reply. Instead, he leaned forward and held out his single hand to Kaiya.
Kaiya stared at it.
Huffing a soft dry chuckle, Guy nodded at him. "Take it, kid... or d'you want stay down in the gutter all day?"
"Ain't that where street rats belong, Guy?" Luke chortled.
"Zip it," Guy hissed, soft but menacing.
Luke immediately felt silent. His sly grin completely disappeared.
Slowly, Kaiya reached up and took Guy's hand. It was dry and warm, which surprised him. For some reason he'd expected it to be cold. Guy easily hauled him to his feet, before stepping back to look him over.
He had the strangest look on his face, Kaiya noted. Guy was staring at him like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. It made him nervous, and kind of self conscious. Now that he was up real close, he saw that Guy was actually pretty nice looking; long hair and dark eyes, even if they were a bit shadowed, a good strong jaw and handsome well-made features. But the way he was staring... it really wasn't all that comfortable. It was too direct. It was a 'hot' stare, like the ones his uncle told him to watch out for.
His uncle had taken to warning him a lot about 'hot' stares, lately.
"You're getting to that age, boy," his uncle had told him before he'd gotten too plastered on his usual daily ration of stout and distilled rot-gut. "You're a nice lookin' kid. Fellas out there'd be only too keen to slip y'one if you let 'em. You don't let 'em. You wait, son... you wait until one comes that'll treat you right and look after ya'. That's what you want."
Kaiya hadn't really given that too much thought, dismissing it as the old man's usual slurring rambles. Besides, he was smart enough for all that he was young, and he'd seen too many young men totally fucked over by the older guys in the area that always seemed to be sniffing about for young ass. So, as a rule, Kaiya stayed close to the home-place, only mixing with his friends in the block and keeping a pretty low profile whenever trouble brewed; so much so that he had actually come to feel that his uncle's advice had been kind of redundant. But, under the heat of Guy's almost frighteningly intense look, he had cause to recall every word.
"How old are you, kid?" Guy asked then.
"Uh... nearly fifteen."
"And your name?"
Kaiya blinked, wondering why the hell Guy would want to know that. But he knew better than to lie about it. "It's Kaiya."
"You got family here?"
"Only my uncle," Kaiya pointed to the apartment block at the end of the street. "I look after him."
Guy nodded at him, almost as if he'd made a decision. He turned to Luke, his brows drawing down sternly. "Give him his ball."
Without comment, Luke quickly handed it over.
Taking it, Kaiya took a step back. "Thanks."
Guy smiled at him. It was only a small smile but it changed his face, turning what was hard and cold into something warmer and more approachable. "No problem. Take it easy, Kaiya. I'll see you around." He jerked his chin at Luke and the two men walked on past him, heading towards one of the closer apartment blocks near the alley's entrance.
Kaiya watched them until they were out of sight then, slowly, his mind filled with thought, he walked back to his side of the street.
So that was the Guy of Bison, huh?
He looked back over his shoulder at the building they'd gone into. Pretty scary kind of man, for all that he didn't yell or shout or anything. Luke had obviously thought so, too. Still, Kaiya shook his head, grinning when he saw Hikaru and Joey rematerializing from around the side of his apartment block, he'd met Bison's leader and lived to tell the tale.
That was pretty cool in its own way.
Dismissing his earlier discomfort, Kaiya chuckled as his friends descended on him, firing questions one after the other. In a couple of days, this would just be another memory, he knew, and life would return to normal.
After all, there really wasn't any reason for him to ever run into Guy again.
He could not possibly know then that the next time he actually did see Guy of Bison, his life would be changed forever.
One year later
The late afternoon of Kaiya's sixteenth birthday found the young man swiftly moving through the local streets of the Ceres slums where he lived, intent on getting back home before the dark clouds that had been gathering overhead all day broke into rain. The air was sullen and hot, Kaiya noted as he cut down a side alley that would lead him out into the end of his street near the apartment block where he still lived with his uncle. The oppressive feeling, the heat and pressure in the air promised one mother of a storm once it hit.
Nearing the apartment block, Kaiya felt his eyes widen a little, a low whistle of appreciation leaving his lips as he spotted two sleekly powerful hover-bikes parked at the side of the street near the entrance of his building. They were really fuckin' sweet machines; he had to admit that, appraising them as he got closer.
Damn shame he'd probably never even get to ride one, let alone own it.
Glancing up, he noticed that the bikes had not been left unattended. Just down from the block's entrance, leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette, was a huge man who kept a close eye on both bikes, and Kaiya, as he passed them by. Kaiya averted his gaze as he walked past the man. The dude really was big. And he had the look of a gang member written all over him. They weren't the kind of men that you stared at. Not unless you wanted both your eyes hooked out with a blade and shoved up your ass.
Shaking off that thought, Kaiya actually began to grin as he mounted the few steps up to the entrance door that led into the dim and shadowy lobby of the old building. He walked right past the elevators, which were broken and probably always would be, heading to the stairs and taking them two at a time up to the third floor landing where his apartment was. Things in the local neighborhood were going okay for Kaiya right now. He had a kind of job, taking on some of the less vital local courier runs for the neighborhood black market dealer and, although it wasn't the best money in the world, it did mean that he had income. Which was actually pretty timely, he had to confess; seeing as how his uncle was so far gone on overindulging in stout and various other chemical pastimes that he was no longer capable of bringing money in at all.
So Kaiya was the breadwinner now, which was cool. The job he did kept him out of the apartment a lot of the time. He couldn't deny that was a bonus in itself.
And, Kaiya grinned again as he neared his apartment, fishing his keys out of his pocket, he was sixteen today. Not that he actually felt older as such, but sixteen in the slums was one of those defining ages. He wasn't a 'kid' anymore. Although in truth, no one was ever really a kid in Ceres. It wasn't the kind of place where naivety survived long.
As that thought occurred to him, Kaiya slowed to a halt, his face falling a bit, old sorrow whispering through his heart.
Joey... Kaiya huffed a sad little chuckle. Ceres had killed off Jo-Jo pretty quickly. One of the local hoods, an older youth that Kaiya and his other pal Hikaru had learned to stay away from, had started paying attention to Joey; filling his head with stories about how great he was, sharing cigarettes and stout with the boy, buying his trust. Through that connection Joey had gotten himself mixed up with a pretty bad crowd, even by Ceres standards. Not even a gang, just a group of older youths who ran wild with drugs and petty crime against their own neighbors; guys that, in their own dumb-assed yet dangerous way seemed dedicated to making life just that bit more unbearable in the slums.
Both Kaiya and Hikaru had tried to warn him. The group was too old for Joey, they'd said, too far into shit that a kid of barely thirteen wouldn't be able to handle. But Joey hadn't listened, convinced that the guys would look out for him, that they were his friends.
Not long after, Joey had dragged himself home late at night, barely able to walk, beaten all to hell and bleeding badly. Turned out that Kaiya and Hikaru had been right. In a faltering voice filled with shame and agony, Joey had told them what happened. Hyped up on stout and a cocktail of drugs, the group had taken it into their heads to share the boy around as 'entertainment', and the more Joey had fought to get away, the worse it had become.
Raped and beaten... By the guys that were going to 'look out for him'. By the guys that were his 'friends'.
Joey hadn't survived the night. Sighing, Kaiya quietly unlocked the door of the apartment, hanging his shoulder satchel on its usual peg in the small hallway. On towards morning, Jo-Jo had slit his own wrists, bleeding out on the floor of the squalid little bathroom of the apartment that he shared with his two cousins.
Kaiya knew that he was very, very lucky to have avoided the same kind of traps. Around about the age of fourteen, a gangly good looking kid started to get all kinds of attention from local men looking for a young pairing partner.
But... for some reason the young and even not-so-young men in his area just seemed to leave him alone. It was like they didn't even see him. He'd wondered why, of course; whether it was just because he wasn't really appealing in that way, or whether they figured he'd be the type to play hard to get, he did not know. Couldn't really work it out. Okay, maybe he wasn't the best looking kid in the place, and he was never going to be tall and graceful like Hikaru was, but he wasn't fuckin' ugly. At least, he was pretty sure he wasn't fuckin' ugly. Someone surely would have told him if that was the case. Still, all he knew was that, unlike Hikaru, he had gotten no potential suitors coming to see him, flattering him and bringing him gifts, no promises from anyone in exchange for a few hot fumbles in darkened corners.
This kind of rankled him a bit. At fuckin' sixteen years of age, he wouldn't have minded getting a few hot fumbles, to be honest.
And because of this, having basically never been exposed personally to the emotional baptism of fire that was the transition from single to paired, Kaiya had grown into a relatively quiet and introspective young man. Generally this was not a personality type that survived long within the harsh life of the slums, but he also had good instincts and was intelligent with it. He'd avoided a lot of trouble simply by being able to read the signs so, although he was tough, as were most youths in Ceres, he hadn't actually grown hard.
At least not yet.
"Kaiya?" his uncle's voice called from the tiny living area where he spent most of his days now. "Is that you, boy?"
"Yeah it's me, uncle Leo."
"Come in here, son. There's someone here to see you."
Kaiya frowned. For some reason, his mind flashed back to the hover-bikes outside the apartment block. Cautiously, he walked into the main room.
His uncle was in his usual seat, a glass of stout and a half-pack of cigarettes balanced upon the worn arm of his chair as always. But, sitting across from him, in the chair that Kaiya usually took, was a tall lean man with long hair, his sharp eyes fixed upon Kaiya. A man dressed in worn denim and black leather.
A man Kaiya recognized very well indeed, even one year on.
"Hey, Kaiya," Guy greeted him softly. His voice was still as low and rough as Kaiya recalled. "Do you remember me?"
Confused, even slightly anxious about what Guy's presence could mean here, Kaiya nodded slowly. "Yeah," he replied, his tone wary, "I remember you."
Guy looked pleased as he rose to his feet, graceful enough in his movements, Kaiya noted, even with the loss of his arm. He looked at Kaiya's uncle, his expression becoming more controlled, formal, the air of a man concluding business coming over him.
"I'll wait downstairs," he murmured. "You can take your time. Send him down when you're done." With that said, Guy strolled almost casually towards the door of the apartment, his entire bearing exuding confidence and latent danger. As he passed Kaiya, he reached out, briefly clasping the young man's shoulder before moving on without a word.
In the wake of Guy's exit, Kaiya looked sharply at his uncle. "Send me down?" he echoed Guy's earlier words. "Send me down, where? What's going on?"
Uncle Leo sighed almost sadly. "Made some arrangements for you, boy," he explained, taking a deep draught of his stout, "You're gonna be movin' out of here."
"What?!" Kaiya shifted to stand in front of his uncle, his dark eyes bewildered and angry. "I'm not going anywhere. I live here."
Uncle Leo shook his head. "Listen boy... you think I wanna see you end up dead like your father, or like poor little Jo-Jo? Huh? You've been lucky so far, Kaiya, 'cause you're smart enough to keep your head down and avoid trouble." He glanced at the grimy window at the graying sky beyond for a moment. "But you're getting to that age, boy," he continued, "where trouble will start to find you, no matter how many people you got keeping an eye on you."
"Keeping an eye on me?" Kaiya sat down in his chair, leaning forward as he stared questioningly at his uncle, "What d'you mean? I look after myself. No one keeps an eye on me."
Uncle Leo looked back at him, a weary and apologetic expression crossing his unshaven face. "Why d'you think, Kaiya, that in these past year... you ain't been getting pestered by men looking to pair up, like Hikaru did? That you ain't had any of them low-life's trying to talk you into goin' with 'em, letting 'em slip one to you?"
"Luck, I figure," Kaiya shrugged sharply, irritated somehow by the question he had so often asked himself coming from his uncle's mouth. "Or, maybe I'm just not interesting in that way."
His uncle snorted gracelessly. "Oh, believe me; nothin' could be further from the truth."
Kaiya scowled at him. "Well then, you tell me why."
"'Cause, boy, Guy put the word out," uncle Leo said flatly, his normally bleary eyes oddly clear and steady.
Kaiya's heart jolted.
Obviously seeing his expression changing, his uncle nodded grimly. "Yeah, that's right," he went on. "For the last year, he's been watching out for you – or gettin' one of his boys in Bison to do it for him. And he let anyone around here, who he felt needed to know, that any of 'em who messed around with you was gonna have to deal with him in person."
"But..." Kaiya shook his head, his mind whirling under the sheer sudden weight of shock and confusion, and strangely unformed fright that this information had brought him, "why would he do that?"
"Well," his uncle looked down for a moment at the threadbare mat on the floor, "according to the man in question, it's because he's been biding time to have you as his pairing partner since the first day he met you."
"But I'm nothing special, uncle Leo," Kaiya objected, his voice strained and tight. "Why me?"
His uncle just shrugged, looking uneasily at him.
Feeling the urge to move before he burst right out of his own skin, Kaiya got to his feet, approaching the front window of the apartment and looking down into the street. Below, he could see Guy, standing beside his bike, now talking to the huge man that Kaiya had seen before when he first entered the building. Leaning against the window pane, he sighed, his confusion immense. He felt a mix of conflicting emotions washing through him... fear, amazement, anxiety and yes, excitement was in there, too.
After all... a pairing partner.
Guy of Bison's pairing partner...
This wasn't just the average run of the mill offer, he knew. And he also knew that, as his only living elder, his uncle did have the right to make arrangements for him, although as a general rule that practice had fallen out of use among the population in recent years. Hikaru, his one remaining boyhood friend was already paired and had moved into a different part of Ceres some time ago. Kaiya had actually been kind of jealous at the time... wondering if his chance was ever going to come.
And now it had, apparently.
With Guy of Bison, no less.
Peering out the window again at the gathering storm clouds, he looked down once more at the tall lean gang leader below, trying to see him as a man, rather than a moniker. He was good looking, Kaiya had to admit that. Hard and strong looking, tough for all that he lacked a limb. And he had a kind of nice smile, and that long thick hair was pretty sexy. Plus, if what his uncle was saying was true, Guy had chosen him and had actually been waiting for him for a whole year.
Which was kind of cool, but...
"I can't go with him, Uncle Leo," Kaiya turned away from the window. "Who's gonna look after you if I'm not here?"
Uncle Leo's expression became, if possible, even more uncomfortable. "Guy'll do that, boy," he said, draining the rest of his stout. "As your pairing partner, he'll see to what's left of your family, too."
Kaiya dropped his gaze, suddenly feeling fourteen and unsure all over again. "But I don't even know him," he murmured.
His uncle barked a humorless laugh. "D'you really think that matters, Kaiya? Huh?" He shook his head. "D'you think Hikaru knew his pairing partner all that well before he went off with him? That's hardly a part of it, son. It's about liking the look of someone... and Guy likes yours. Besides," he met Kaiya's eyes with a gaze that was still somehow sad and tired, despite his matter-of-fact tone, "You'll get to know him."
"Uncle—"
"You've got to go with him now, Kaiya," uncle Leo cut him off. "Go pack what you might need for now and I'll get the rest sent on later."
"But—"
Uncle Leo's expression changed, hardening a little. "I hope you ain't arguin' with me, boy."
Swallowing, Kaiya looked closely at the man, at the only family that he could remember, the only family that he had ever had. All at once, he could see him clearly. Just a sad old man whose eyes were full of regret and sorrow, who didn't really want to let him go, but who evidently felt there was no choice. For some reason that clarity made Kaiya feel both sorry for him and angry at him at the same time.
Without a word he nodded. He stepped forward and bent down, kissing his uncle's brow. It was the first time, Kaiya realized, feeling as tired and old as his uncle looked, that he had ever kissed him... and, ironically enough, it would probably be the last.
He didn't say anything more. There really wasn't anything to say. And he did not look back as he left the room to go and pack his things.
"So kid," Guy dropped his cigarette onto the ground by his feet and crushed it out with the heel of his boot as Kaiya approached, "you ever ridden a hover-bike before?"
Kaiya shook his head, looking rather doubtfully at the big shining machine as he shifted his shoulder satchel into a more comfortable position. Up close like this, the thing looked a lot more intimidating.
Guy didn't seem worried by that. He tossed him a spare helmet that had been hanging on the back of the bike. "You'll be all right if you hang onto me. I can teach you how to ride one later."
"Okay," Kaiya nodded at him. "Thanks."
Guy shrugged before nodding toward the big man that Kaiya had seen before, who was now straddling his bike, his own helmet momentarily forgotten in his hands as he took a good long look at Kaiya's face. Under the weight of that scrutiny, Kaiya felt a baffled frown creasing his normally smooth brow as he tried to work out what the hell the man was staring at.
Guy appeared not to notice. "This is Sid," he nodded toward the vastly muscled man. "He's been part of Bison since the start."
Sid very quickly schooled his face into an unreadable mask. He nodded at Kaiya, his face not particularly welcoming, but not unfriendly either.
Kaiya nodded back, and then following the two older men's lead, he pulled his helmet on and mounted the hover-bike behind Guy, his hands gripping Guy's waist.
The long-haired gang leader snorted dryly as he kicked the bike's engine over and looked back over his shoulder. "Unless you want to be smeared out all over the rode behind us, Kaiya, you'll need to hold on a bit tighter than that."
Kaiya hesitated, just for a moment, before sliding his arms around Guy's body and holding on firmly. With a soft, almost noncommittal grunt, Guy faced forward, gunned the engine and roared off, with Sid's bike right beside them.
The trip across Ceres only took about twenty minutes, Kaiya noted. But it contained so many twists and turns, and was done at what seemed to him to be almost suicidal speeds, that by the time it finished, Kaiya genuinely had no idea where he was anymore. But he was also impressed, even on top of his anxiety. Guy handled the hover-bike with nonchalant ease, even for a man with only one arm.
The bikes began to slow a little as the tiny entourage turned off another main section of street and into a close-built residential area. When Guy pulled his bike into the entrance of a small group of apartments set back from the road, Sid did not slow but continued on, simply raising one gloved hand in a loose salute as he peeled off in another direction.
Guy parked the bike outside the covered entrance of one of the apartments, cut the engine and removed his helmet. He squinted into the sky for a moment as the first drops of rain began to fall, before looking over his shoulder again and arching a dark brow. "Well," he smiled slightly, a smile that somehow, Kaiya noted, did not really seem to reach his eyes. "We're here. Get off, kid."
Moving quickly, Kaiya dismounted and pulled off his own helmet, watching as Guy swung his long leg off over the bike and turned to face him. Then without a word, Guy jerked his head at Kaiya, signaling him to move under cover as the rain began to come down harder. Stepping in under the overhanging roofline, Guy fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the front door.
"Aren't you worried someone might take it?" Kaiya asked, staring at the man's broad back.
"Hmm?" Guy glanced briefly at him as he pushed open the door.
"Your bike," Kaiya clarified. "Won't someone steal if you just leave it out there?"
Guy merely snorted gracelessly, looking at Kaiya with dry amusement in his dark eyes and Kaiya flushed slightly, suddenly remembering again exactly who he was talking to.
Of course no one would steal from this man.
No one without a death wish, anyway.
Jerking his chin at Kaiya once more, Guy motioned him inside, closing the door as the young man stepped through and took his first look around at what was going to be his home from now on.
"Whoa, man, this is nice," Kaiya looked about at a main living area that was literally twice the size of the entire apartment that he had shared with his uncle. Taking a few steps further into the place, he stared at the comfortable-looking furniture and the stylish fittings. There was an actual CD system on a shelf along the wall. He didn't even have to look to know that the refrigerator in the neat galley kitchen was probably full of food, too.
Obviously life in Bison paid pretty well.
"Yeah, it's not bad," Guy spoke from behind him. "I only moved in a while ago. I figured... seeing as how you were gonna be with me, I'd need a bigger place."
"Huh," Kaiya nodded and turned, his dark eyes questioning as he looked at the older man. He stood in silence as Guy stared at him, a strangely intent frown on his face, while the sullen rumble of thunder rolled off in the distance.
When Guy began to walk towards him his heart started to pound. He felt anxious and unsure. He was out of his depth, here with this cold and intimidating man, in this unfamiliar place that, quite frankly, looked like its owner hardly ever used it. And he didn't know what to do. He had no experience at things like this. Of course he now understood why he'd never been able to gain any manner of sexual know-how. Guy had basically ensured that he hadn't.
As Guy neared him, stopping just a foot or so away to look gravely down at him, Kaiya took a deep breath and met his new pairing partner's rapidly darkening eyes. "Why me?" he asked softly, "I mean, why did you pick me?"
Guy paused, tilting his head to one side and considering the question. For a moment, to Kaiya, he actually looked deeply troubled, but then his expression changed and he grinned; the broad smile all of a sudden making him appear handsome and even warm. "I liked the look of you," he answered simply, shrugging.
"That's what my uncle said," Kaiya murmured, clasping his hands tightly together to stop them from shaking.
Guy moved closer, hooking his fingers under the strap of Kaiya's satchel and easing it off his shoulder. His grin softened a little, became sultry and oddly inviting.
It was a nice look on the man, Kaiya thought absently, feeling his breathing deepening a little more.
"Well..." Guy's voice dropped to a low husky kind of murmur, "your uncle was right."
Kaiya swallowed audibly, really comprehending for the first time, the sheer solidity of the man in front of him. "I, uhm..." he dropped his eyes, feeling his face heat, feeling his body beginning to react to Guy's proximity, to his scent and the undeniable desire in his eyes, in spite of the tension that he felt. "I haven't really done... y'know, anything before." He shrugged helplessly, his flush rising as he averted his face, feeling young and stupid, and monumentally embarrassed.
And kind of scared.
He knew Guy would want to fuck him. He knew that was part of the whole partnership deal. Hikaru had already been doing it with his partner before he'd moved away to live with him, and he'd told Kaiya it felt good. Better than good, actually. But, in himself, he wasn't so sure. Guy was a pretty big man, and he was older and obviously had experience.
He wondered if it would hurt much.
A warm hand cupping his face and lifting his chin broke through the maelstrom in his head. Guy was looking down at him, one eyebrow raised, a slight smile still on his face. "It's okay, kid," he said gently, his tone oddly soothing. "I'll show you what to do. It's easy."
Smiling back, albeit somewhat shakily, Kaiya nodded. "Okay."
Guiding him with a warm hand on his shoulder, Guy led him towards the bedroom. "I'll look after you, Kaiya," he assured Kaiya softy as they moved into the room to stand beside the bed. "You'll like this, I promise."
Nodding, Kaiya wet his lips and let Guy pull him close; lifting his face as he felt, for the first time, the touch of another person's lips against his own.
It was late, although exactly what time it was, Kaiya couldn't tell.
Outside the rain continued to pour down, beating steadily on the roof while the wind whipped and howled past the buildings around Guy's apartment.
Guy slept on, his breathing deep and regular.
But Kaiya could not sleep. Not yet, anyway. He had too much to think about.
It really hadn't been at all like what he'd expected. The really ironic thing was, he had no basis of comparison, so he hadn't, in fact, really had an accurate idea of how it would feel. Certainly different from jerking off, that was a given.
But whatever he'd thought... it hadn't been close to what he'd actually gotten.
Not that it had been bad. Quite the opposite, really. And maybe that was the issue, the reason he couldn't sleep. It had been so much more... intimate than he had imagined it would be. Being so close to a person like that. Skin against skin, nothing between them. Guy's own lack of self consciousness had helped Kaiya a lot. He'd been thankful for that. Stripping their clothes off, Guy had stood before him, calmly inviting him to look, to ask, to touch.
So Kaiya had, running his fingers over the line of scarring on Guy's truncated left arm, frowning deeply as he thought about the nature of the injury. "Fuck, that must've hurt," he'd breathed.
Guy had merely chuckled softly, pulling him close. "Y'know... at the time, I didn't even feel it." He'd touched Kaiya's face, his fingers gentle. "Later," his face had tightened with the memory, "later on it hurt like hell, but at the time?" He'd shrugged then, as if dismissing it, bending his head to kiss Kaiya's soft mouth, his hand reaching down to stroke between his legs and Kaiya had forgotten about asking any other questions from that point on.
Guy had obviously been around the block a few times sexually, Kaiya reckoned. He'd certainly known what to touch, where to stroke, to get Kaiya all heated up and hard. Lying on his back in the middle of the bed and feeling Guy sucking on his cock had been absolutely sublime. He'd come so fast and so hard that he felt kind of embarrassed. But Guy hadn't seemed to mind. He'd simply pushed Kaiya's legs apart and had taken the opportunity, while the young man was still relaxed after his climax, to push a couple of slicked-up fingers into him, stretching him, working the tight muscles for the larger invader that was to come.
And the actual fucking had hurt at first, although not as much as he'd expected when he'd actually seen the size of Guy's equipment. But as his partner had moved over him and in him, the burn had become heat, the stretch had become fullness and it had felt better with every second that passed. And when Guy had arched his back a bit, changing the angle, his cock had nudged against something inside Kaiya's ass that had caused a sharp wave of sullen pleasure to flash through him, sparking bright lights behind his eyes. He had cried out then, loving it, reaching down to grip Guy's hips and lifting into it. When he'd felt Guy's hand grip his reawakened cock, he had known he was going to come again, and he had looked up at Guy's face, wanting to see his eyes, wanting to share it with him.
But Guy's dark eyes had been closed, his expression almost distant, like he was somewhere else. But he'd kept moving and stroking, and the heat and the rhythm had wiped Kaiya's mind of all conscious thought and he had orgasmed again, crying out his release and hearing Guy's soft, almost strangled groan as the older man had surged into him and then stilled, shuddering deeply as he came before collapsing over him, panting against his neck.
But then, Guy had moved away.
Without a word, he carefully withdrawn, kissed Kaiya's shoulder briefly and rolled over, his back to the young man, his breathing settling as he lay unmoving and silent.
Kaiya had been completely confused. And disappointed. He'd been pretty certain, inexperienced as he was, that the whole thing wasn't supposed to end like that. So abruptly; that there was supposed to be at least some kind of connection remaining in the aftermath, some warmth and closeness to complete what had been a pretty incredible first time.
But instead, there was just doubt, and a cold kind of loneliness that crawled up over him. He had turned his head, looking at the line of Guy's body in the dim light and wondering what the hell had just happened.
"Guy?" Kaiya had spoken softly, his tone betraying his hesitance.
Guy had grunted softly at him.
"Is... was it okay?"
Guy had sighed. "It was fine, Kaiya," he'd replied almost flatly. "You did good."
Kaiya had wet his lips, not liking the answer, or the tone. "I wasn't sure... y'know." He shifted a little, turning onto his side to face Guy's back. "You moved away so quick—"
"It's nothing, kid," Guy had told him then. "Nothing's wrong. I just like my space when I sleep, that all."
Kaiya had rolled back into his place again, staring that the ceiling.
And that how he had stayed, long after Guy had fallen asleep. And it was fair enough reason, Kaiya supposed, if he looked at it logically. What Guy had told him, why he had moved away.
But it had felt like a lie.
Over the next few months, Kaiya's life became a portrait of absolute uncertainty. Guy had introduced him to Bison the day after he'd taken him away from his uncle and, although most of the younger members had reacted with something very close to disinterest, the older men, the ones that seemed closest to Guy, had looked at him like he was some kind of ghost. They were friendly enough to him, in their own rough and ready 'kick your ass if you fuck up' kind of way, but they treated him with a strange manner of caution. They didn't really talk to him – well, that was to say, they did talk to him, but carefully, like they were guarding their words. Sometimes, Kaiya had found, if he started to ask too many questions about his new pairing partner, they would just sort of... switch off and walk away.
And as for his role in Bison? His purpose?
Well, as far as he could work out, his purpose was to basically sit in the background and keep his mouth shut while Guy ran Bison and conducted seemingly never-ending grim and low-voiced conversations with the senior members of the gang. His function, Kaiya began to understand with ever deepening clarity, was simply to be known as Guy's pairing partner, acknowledged as obviously wanted by the leader of Bison, but of no real use. A mere accessory.
Sometimes Guy took him to Depraved's or to Bison's lair, and sometimes, particularly when Guy was preoccupied or in the middle of some deal or other, he simply left him at the apartment with hardly a word, obviously assuming that he would amuse himself somehow. The offer that Guy had made about teaching him to ride a hover-bike had never materialized and, after he'd been curtly told a few times that 'later meant fuckin' later, kid', he'd simply stopped asking. So, he was pretty much stuck when Guy left him at the apartment.
Nowhere to go and no way to get there...
Even when they were alone together for any period of time, Guy didn't really talk to him. Not about anything that mattered. His conversation usually revolved around Bison's current business or the power plays that he observed between the lesser gangs of Ceres. But regarding their life together, or what Guy expected of him... nothing.
Kaiya hated it.
He began to wonder if he might have done something wrong somehow. If he had managed to piss Guy off because he was too young and too untested. That Guy was starting to see him as some kind of burden. That maybe he had made a mistake in choosing Kaiya in the first place.
But what confused Kaiya most of all was that Guy still, apparently, wanted him. Every night, even on those nights where he had returned to the apartment so late that Kaiya had been asleep for hours already; Guy would slip naked into bed and begin to touch him until his body warmed and his breathing began to deepen. He would grip Kaiya's jaw and kiss him deeply and with an intensity of passion that literally made his head spin. He would stroke him in all those sweet sensitive places, move over his body with his lips and tongue, before sucking him and fucking him until Kaiya could barely see straight. On his haunches, between Kaiya's coltish legs, Guy would pound into the young man's lithe body, fisting his cock while he rode him, unremitting and deep, until Kaiya yelled and came and Guy would grunt softly, lunge down to cover Kaiya's body with his, thrusting hard and fast until he filled Kaiya's ass with the slick hot rush of his semen.
But, for all of that ardor and effort, Guy would always keep his eyes closed. And, when it was over, Guy would inevitably roll away from him without a word, leaving Kaiya lying there, still shuddering through the physical aftermath of his climax, and feeling more empty and alone than ever before.
And more than just confusing the hell out of him, this actually truly saddened him. Because, the fact was, he wanted Guy to like him, to care about him. And it wasn't just because he felt that he was stuck here now, with no real desire to go back to his old home and watch his uncle drinking himself to death, even if he knew how to get there. And it wasn't just a young man's pride either, wanting to avoid the humiliation of his pairing partner, especially being Guy of Bison, throwing him out because he just didn't cut it.
It was because, in spite of everything, Guy made his flesh sing. And, as inexperienced as he was with such things before Guy had wakened his body into sexual awareness, he knew and even accepted that he was drawn to Guy; that he found him, missing limb and scars and all, amazingly attractive. He wasn't naive enough not to realize that it was probably because Guy was the first person he'd ever been naked with, the first person that he had ever come for, that was the reason he felt like this. However, regardless of his youth and his lack of greater experience, his emotions on this matter were deep and real. He had bonded to the strange and distant man who shared his life now, and that very fact just made it all the more difficult to cope.
And it was more than just the dynamic of their partnership that he wished was different. He wanted Guy to respect him. He wanted to be useful.
Driven to express his frustration one evening, during one of their rare but inevitably silent meals together at Guy's apartment, Kaiya had tried to ask him about some of the things that had been on his mind. Pushing his half-eaten dinner away Kaiya had heaved a sigh and leaned forward, catching Guy's gaze.
Guy had stilled, his expression hardening, one dark brow rising slightly. "What?" he'd asked, his voice flat and filled with impatience.
Taking a deep breath, bracing himself, Kaiya had refused to let that cold hard stare get the better of him this time. He had lifted his chin, meeting Guy's eyes steadily. "Guy... I've been here a while now."
"Yeah? So?" Guy had sat back, his face an icy mask.
"So... don't you think, maybe, it's time I started to earn my way in Bison? Y'know..." Kaiya had shaken his head, a bleak smile twisting his full lips, "start to be counted as part of the gang?"
Guy had stared at him for a long moment, his expression giving away nothing. "What makes you think you're ready for that, kid?" he had asked at length.
Swallowing hard, Kaiya had cleared his through. "Well... I thought, that because I was your—"
Guy's harsh snort of derisive laughter had cut him off. "What? You thought because you're my fuckin' partner, you'd automatically score a place in Bison?"
"Well—"
"That's earned, kid," Guy had risen to his feet, walking to the refrigerator and pulling out a beer. Popping the cap off against the edge of the kitchen bench, Guy had turned back to him, his dark eyes full of scathing amusement. "What you need to do is watch and listen. If you've got the fuckin' brains to pick up the way things work... I'll think about taking you on a job. Until then, you do as I tell you."
Cut by Guy's dismissive tone, Kaiya had flared angrily, his eyes flashing. "I already do that, Guy!" Kaiya had gotten to his feet, planting his hands on the table and glaring at his partner. "I do what I'm fuckin' told and I stay out of the way and I never ask for anything! I look after this fuckin' apartment and I cook your meals like I'm some kind of housekeeper, while you go off without me and leave me here staring at the wall. I'm your pairing partner. The lowest ranked member in your gang gets more of your respect than I do. It's not fuckin' fair!"
Guy's face had closed off. "Fair?" He had echoed, his voice dropping to a deadly growl. "You think life in Ceres is fair? Look around you," Guy had waved his beer bottle at the room. "Tell me... how many kids from your shitty part of the slums are living in a place as nice as this, huh?"
Feeling his mouth thin into an unhappy line, Kaiya had looked helplessly at him.
"How many of your old pals get to have fresh food on their fuckin' tables every night, or new clothes to wear?" Guy had moved towards him, his dark eyes blazing with anger and offense.
A sudden surge of genuine unease had overlaid Kaiya's resentment as the tall and solidly built gang leader had closed in on him. His heart had begun to pound and he had drawn back, his eyes widening.
Guy had leaned down, putting his mouth close to Kaiya's ear. "If I was you..." he said softly, his voice filled with clear note of menace, "I'd think about how much worse off I might be. I'd think about just how fuckin' lucky I was not to end up dead in a gutter somewhere, raped and murdered by a bunch of local thugs." Guy's breath brushed against the side of Kaiya's face as he huffed another humorless laugh. "I might even think about how fuckin' grateful I ought to be to the man who pulled me out of a dead-end life with the burden a drunken uncle hanging over me, and a shitty piss-paying job that was never gonna lead to anywhere."
Kaiya had found himself panting harshly, his face twisting with powerless anger. He had glared at Guy, his traitorous throat so tight with upset that he couldn't manage so much as a single sound.
Guys had nodded, satisfaction filling his face. "Get your ass into the bedroom, kid," he had said, the implacable resonance of an order in his tone.
Kaiya had gasped, his expression mirroring his disbelief.
Guy had smiled and, to his young pairing partner, it had not been a pleasant or comforting expression at all. "Do as I tell you, Kaiya," Guy had whispered, his eyes deadly serious.
After a brief moment of hesitation, Kaiya had obeyed, his guts filled with anxiety and something very close to dread.
And he had discovered following that conversation, that he'd had every reason to feel that way. Guy hadn't hurt him at all, at least not physically, during sex that night; but he hadn't kissed him either. Hadn't touched him or stroked him, or made him come. No... what Guy had done was simply slick his own cock up with lube, push Kaiya onto his face on the bed, spread his legs and mount him without preamble, fucking him until he shuddered and climaxed, before withdrawing and moving away to his side of the bed, turning his back and almost immediately falling asleep.
And, lying there, his body shaking and unfulfilled, his young face turned away and his eyes staring unblinkingly at the open bedroom door, Kaiya had become sure. Somewhere along the way, Guy had obviously realized that he had made a mistake. That Kaiya was not what he really wanted in a pairing partner. That he wasn't good enough, somehow.
It had taken a long, long time for Kaiya to fall asleep that night.
Some few days later Kaiya found himself being left behind again, this time at Depraved's.
Standing off to one side, Kaiya carefully schooled his expression to remain as neutral as possible, as he watched Guy talking with Luke and Sid, the two senior gang members that would be helping to coordinate this latest job. It was good one too, from what he could make out. Guy had come across information that a smaller rival gang was planning to intercept electrical goods being transported from the Midas warehouse district to the spaceport later in the night. Somehow, he had secured details of the route the transport was going to take and the idea, according to Bison's grim-faced leader, would be to pre-empt the gang's strike point, getting in first to make the heist before they even became aware that anything had happened.
How Guy had come to that information, Kaiya did not know. Nor did any of Bison, even the men closest to him, but... he had to admit, no one dared to question it and, invariably, Guy was right on the money every time.
As the three senior gang members called their teams up and issued instructions, Kaiya found himself stepping forward, moving towards his pairing partner and setting his jaw stubbornly. In spite of how uncomfortable things had gotten between them, he still had a solid enough backbone, and he felt the sudden compulsion to try just one more time.
"Guy," Kaiya lowered his voice, speaking directly to the long-haired leader, "I want to come along."
Guy flicked an almost dismissive glance at him, before turning back to his chosen team, sending them outside with a few quiet orders to wait for him.
"I'm serious," Kaiya insisted. He wet his lips, frowning deeply. "Listen, you said I have to earn a place here, so let me earn it. Let me prove that I can—"
"No," Guy cut him off flatly, turning to look down at him, irritation on his brow. "There's no place for you in this. You stay here."
Peripherally, Kaiya noted Sid, glancing at him as he walked out with his team, shooting him a warning look and shaking his head. Ignoring him, Kaiya tried again. "Guy, man... I'm only trying to—"
With snake-like speed, Guy's hand snapped up and gripped Kaiya's jaw firmly, not hard exactly, but with enough force to let him know that pain could become an option if he didn't shut his mouth. His lips curved into a snarl as he glared at Kaiya with dangerously angry eyes. "Don't... argue with me, kid. Ever."
Meeting those blazing eyes, Kaiya swallowed hard, his brief bravado giving way to a genuine surge of fear. He dropped his eyes and sighed harshly, accepting Guy's rebuke in silence.
Guy nodded, dropping his hand from Kaiya's face. He looked across at the bar where Norris, Luke's pairing partner and the other senior member of Bison, was leaning nonchalantly, his arms crossed over his chest. "Norris," Guy rapped out.
Norris straightened slightly. "Yo!"
"You're staying behind tonight, man," Guy told him.
A sardonic grin rose on Norris' face. "Yeah, I kinda figured that, boss," he replied, amiably enough.
The smallest flash of humor crossed Guy's face. "Good." He jerked his chin at Kaiya. "Keep him out of trouble. Make sure he gets home."
"Will do."
"And keep your cell on. Just in case."
Norris raised one hand in a loose salute.
Without another word, Guy turned and left Depraved's. Kaiya stood, silent and flushing with humiliation in the rapidly emptying room. As he watched, the final senior member of tonight's team, Luke, sauntered over to Norris, hooking one hand behind his neck and drawing him in to kiss him soundly. As he pulled back, Norris grinned at him, his expression softening just a touch. "You be careful out there, man, okay?"
Luke nodded returning his grin. "Always." He tugged gently at Norris' hair before he turned away and walked out and, for a second, Kaiya felt a pure stab of envy run through him.
Norris was lucky, he thought, scowling at the floor. His partner actually liked him, touched him when others were around, made him laugh...
"Hey, kid..." Norris' voice broke through Kaiya's dismal musing. "Why don't you rack up the table? We'll shoot a couple of games." He strolled over to the pool table at the rear of the bar-room, motioning Kaiya to join him.
Walking over, Kaiya regarded the man for a moment. He actually liked Norris the most out of all of Bison. He was kind, in his own cynical way, and his didn't treat Kaiya like an irritation, or worse, a burden. He could actually talk to him, which, considering the almost fervent reticence of Guy, Kaiya had come to value very much indeed.
And, right now, he had to confess, he really needed someone to talk to.
Clearly unaware of the internal dialogue going on within Kaiya, Norris handed him a cue and winked. "Okay, kid... set 'em up. You wanna break?"
Kaiya didn't move. Instead he sighed deeply and turned to face the older man, his dark eyes searching Norris's face. "Norris? Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah?" Norris said, leaning one hip against the pool table.
"Why did Guy choose me?" Kaiya wet his lips, frowning down at the threadbare baize on the pool table.
Norris' expression suddenly grew very, very careful. "Uhm... why do you ask?"
Kaiya shrugged, his face becoming deeply unhappy. "I just... I get the feeling that he really doesn't actually, y'know, like me very much."
As his words left his throat Kaiya could have sworn, for just a moment, that Norris' expression changed, becoming genuinely saddened. "Ah, kid..." he sighed deeply, rubbing one hand over his eyes. "Listen, I can't tell ya why."
Kaiya looked up at him again. "Can't or won't?"
"Can't," Norris answered firmly, his face closing off again.
Kaiya nodded, absently turning the pool cue he held with his slender fingers. "Everyone in Bison looks at me like they feel sorry for me," he said then.
Norris gave him a lopsided grin. "Well, y'know... you are paired with Guy. Fucker's not the easiest man in he world to get along with."
"No," Kaiya bit his lower lip for a moment. "No. It's more than that."
"Look, kid..." Norris grimaced slightly, "Kaiya," he corrected himself. "This ain't a conversation I'm gonna have with you, okay? You got those sorts of questions; you gotta put 'em to Guy."
"I've tried," Kaiya's voice dropped to a mere murmur.
"Try again," Norris reached out and clapped him on the shoulder, gently enough. "But, for now..." he nodded to the pool table. "Rack 'em up, okay?"
Sighing, aware that Norris was putting an end to the conversation, Kaiya did so.
In the bedroom of their small apartment, not far from Bison's gang lair, Kaiya sat at the end of the bed, his face in shadow from the dim light of the cheap bedside lamp.
He was waiting; waiting for Guy to return.
It had grown quite late by the time he heard Guy unlocking the door in the main area. His head snapped around at the sound, his heart beginning to pound a little and his eyes widening in something that felt an awful lot like dread as Guy walked into the bedroom, his face its usual grim mask.
The long-haired gang leader nodded perfunctorily at Kaiya as he passed him, heading into the tiny bathroom to splash water on his face before returning to the bedroom and stripping his jacket off. Kaiya watched him silently as he hung the jacket in his small cupboard, then seated himself in the worn armchair near the bed and worked his shoes off. Even in his current state of heightened anxiety, Kaiya had to appreciate Guy's economy of motion. How he had adapted the way he did things, the manner in which he moved, to compensate for the loss of his arm.
Heaving a tired sigh, Guy sat back in the chair, loosening his belt and stretching his long legs out in front of him. He rested his head back and closed his eyes, obviously weary from this latest job. Dressed now in just his snug jeans and his usual black T-shirt, he still seemed to exude an undeniable air of latent menace, even sitting as he was in this relaxed pose.
"Did everything go okay?" Kaiya asked quietly.
Guy nodded, his eyes staying shut. "Yeah."
"Are you hungry, or anything? I can get you something to eat."
"No."
"A beer, then?"
Guy's only response was an irritated sigh.
Falling silent again, Kaiya closed his own eyes for a moment. There was no longer any anger in him, like there had been when he had confronted Guy before. It had gone beyond that; his upset, his sense of failure and bewilderment, had penetrated to the deepest levels of his young soul, leaving him hurt and worn out and stretched beyond coping. Now, all he felt was misery.
And to think, he mused almost absently, that not all that long ago he had actually thought he was tough.
This wasn't at all what he had expected from a partnership, he reflected sadly as he sat there. From what he had observed growing up, and even from more recently watching Luke and Norris, partners around him had actually seemed to enjoy being together, had cared about each other and made each other feel good. He had always believed that having a partner meant having a friend as well; a chance to find something that was bright and kind of sweet in the cold grey harshness that was the slums of Ceres. He'd thought it meant never having to be lonely again, always knowing that you had someone there to watch your back and make you smile and hold you in the pit of the night when bad dreams threatened to break repose.
But he'd been wrong. He knew that now. Because what he had with Guy was none of those things.
Swallowing over the huge lump that had formed in this throat, Kaiya pulled in a deep breath. "You really don't, do you?" he asked softly, keeping his voice steady through sheer strength of will.
"Don't what?' Guy asked him, his voice as flat and annoyed as his sigh had been.
Kaiya wet his lips as he opened his eyes and stared blankly in front of himself at the bathroom door, watching the details blur as moisture filled his eyes in burning rush. "Like me," he murmured, his voice low and dull, the first hot streaks of tears falling down his face.
"Give me a fuckin' break, will ya, kid?" Guy growled at him. "I'm too tired for this shit tonight."
Kaiya didn't even have to look to know that Guy still had his eyes closed, not even interested enough, apparently, to so much as look at him. He bent forward slightly as the pain shuddered though him, clenching his jaw hard to stifle the low moan of anguish that threatened to break free. He had not cried since he was a tiny child. Kids grew up fast in Ceres. They learned to be tough, to not show the hurts. And he didn't want to cry now. Crying was for babies and little kids. It wasn't for someone who was supposed to be a man. But, this... the way he felt right now, nothing in his life had ever been this painful. And nothing in his life had ever prepared him to handle this kind of pain.
Because, right now, he was utterly alone; in a place he did not know, with a man who used his body but did not really want him, surrounded by people who viewed him, at best, as pitiful.
So feeling pathetic and hating himself for no longer being able to hide it, he wept. But silently, holding everything in as hard as he could. Not wanting Guy to hear. Not wanting him to know that not only had he picked a partner that he'd discovered he didn't like, but that he'd picked one that was weak into the bargain.
For a long moment, there was silence then...
"Ah, fuck..." Kaiya heard Guy's quiet curse then, heard the older man moving, getting to his feet. He hunched over and turned away, wrapping his arms tightly around himself and shaking his head as he sensed Guy getting closer to him.
"You... you're crying," Guy remarked, his tone somehow different; there was a note of realization there, hesitant and soft.
Kaiya roughly swiped at his eyes with trembling fingers. It made no difference. More tears came. "I can't help it," he choked out brokenly. "I'm sorry. But I'm a real person, y'know?" He gulped in a breath, fighting to speak, to find some way to express what he felt inside. "You just... you treat me like I don't feel anything, and," his voice broke on a quiet sob, his heartbreak clearly apparent, "it hurts—" he trailed off, his voice failing him as he swiped his forearm across his eyes.
He felt the bed dip slightly as Guy sat down and, to his surprise, even in his overwhelmed state, he felt Guy's hand slide over his shoulder, warm and unexpectedly gentle. "Look at me," Guy's voice murmured.
Shaking his head again, Kaiya tried to twist further away, but Guy's grip become slightly firmer; not painful, just holding him in place, refusing to let him move away.
"Kaiya," Guy said then, low and insistent. "Look at me."
A tiny strangled noise of distress came from Kaiya's throat, but he turned back, slowly lifting his eyes to Guy's face. He froze as he met Guy's gaze, not quite able to believe what he was seeing.
Guy's expression was filled with sorrow and weary regret, the most emotion, the most feeling, that Kaiya had ever seen there. He looked closely at Kaiya's tear marked face for a long moment before he sighed once more and, this time, there was no impatience there. "God, what the fuck am I doing?" he asked softly, and somehow Kaiya knew that he was talking to himself. He shook his head, reaching out to touch the dampness on Kaiya's cheek. "You're just a kid," he whispered.
Sniffling softly, Kaiya frowned. "I can't help that either, man," he hiccupped. "You're the one who chose me."
"Yeah," Guy's voice stayed soft, his face bleak and strangely uncertain. "And I've pretty much fucked up your life by doing that, haven't I?"
Stunned, Kaiya stared at him.
Guy smiled a little, still sad. "But then, I have a kind of..." he shrugged wryly, his hand slipping behind the back of Kaiya's neck, loosely holding him, "...a kind of knack for doing that to people."
"I don't understand." Kaiya sniffled again, his tears ceasing under the sudden weight of his confusion.
"One day I'll tell you the story," Guy met his eyes again. "When you're a bit older."
"Guy—"
"Listen, Kaiya," Guy cut him off quietly. "I'm not good at this kind of stuff, y'know? Saying what I feel."
Almost holding his breath, Kaiya waited.
Grimacing ruefully, Guy gave him a gentle shake. "But I do like you, kid," he told him, his smile softening slightly. "And I know I've been putting you down, making you feel bad when I had no fuckin' reason to do it. And I'm sorry about that. I guess I didn't think about how young you were." He looked away for a moment, that deeply introspective expression crossing his face again. "I didn't fuckin' think about a lot of things," he muttered.
"I thought, maybe..." Kaiya ventured hesitantly, "maybe I had done something wrong."
Guy's head turned sharply back. "No," he replied firmly. "No, you did nothing wrong. The way I've been treating you, Kaiya, has got shit-all to do with you. It's not your fault, it's mine."
"So," Kaiya wet his lips, nervously. "So... you still want me around?"
Guy stared at him for a long moment, his eyes filled with thought, before he gave him a slow and gentle smile. "Yeah," he murmured, pulling him up, kissing his mouth softly. "Yeah," he whispered against Kaiya's lips. "In fact, I've just realized that want I you around more than ever."
Gently, but insistently, Guy pressed him back down onto the bed, slipping his hand up under Kaiya's shirt to stroke the skin of his chest, trailing his lips down the side of his neck, biting gently at the soft skin.
"Guy?" Kaiya whispered, shivers lancing down one side of his body as Guy continued his sensual assault. He felt the slow heat of arousal unfurling in his lower belly, hardening his body. "Guy?" he tried again, lifting his hands to press against Guy's shoulders, pushing him back slightly.
Rising up on his elbow, Guy looked down at him, a strangely worried frown on his face. "What?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. "You don't want to?" He smiled again, regret still in his eyes. "I'll be good to you this time, I can promise you that."
"Yeah, I want to, but..." Kaiya felt his face grow somber and he paused, wondering how to say it.
"Then, what? What is it?"
"It's just," Kaiya sighed, his sorrow an almost palpable thing. "Would you keep your eyes open tonight?" he asked Guy, his throat tightening again. "Would you let it... let it just be me tonight? Okay?"
Guy stared at him again, his face paling a little. A kind of endless sadness whispered across his expression, filling his gaze with anguish. He closed his eyes for a moment, his brow creasing with profound pain and, when he opened them, they seemed clearer somehow, less darkened by shadows; and Kaiya felt that, perhaps for the first time since he'd come here, Guy really was seeing him. "Really did screw this up, didn't I, kid?" he smiled again, though there was little humor in it. "I don't know, Kaiya, if I'm ever gonna be able to make it up to you. But I'm gonna try, okay?"
Kaiya peered at him, confused. "I don't really get what you mean."
"Doesn't matter," Guy leaned close and kissed him again. "Just understand that it is you tonight, all right? That it will be you from this point on."
"Okay."
"Yeah?" Guy's smiled widened a little.
Kaiya nodded. "Yeah." And Guy was good to his word. He kept his eyes open, meeting Kaiya's gaze with genuine warmth as he stripped him and touched him and kissed his mouth, his neck, his quivering stomach. And when moved in between Kaiya's legs, lined up and pushed inside, he said Kaiya's name, his voice all kind of deep and ragged. And just that sound, the sound of his name in Guy's voice like that, sent a sharp sullen wave of desire rolling through the young man's entire body, and he closed his hands over Guy's ass and lifted his pelvis, groaning softly as he felt the movement inside of him, wanting the fuck like he'd never wanted it before.
And it was so good. Deep and perfect in its stretching pounding pleasure. Kaiya felt like he was being annihilated, like he was being absorbed by Guy's flesh. Supporting his upper body on his single strong arm, Guy hunkered down, kissing him as he thrust, moving his lips to Kaiya's ear and whispering things to him, hot things, deliciously crude things that made Kaiya flush and sweat.
"Stroke yourself off, Kaiya," Guy panted into his ear, his breath hot against the side of his face. "C'mon, kid, I wanna see you come, I wanna feel it..."
Gulping in a shuddering breath, Kaiya did as he was told, easing one hand down between their bodies and gripping his own cock, hard and hot and aching, with his hand. He pumped himself with smooth fast strokes, crying out harshly with stunned pleasure when Guy reared back, gripped his hip tightly and began to really give it to him; nailing him hard enough to shake the whole bed, aiming for that sweet sullen place deep in Kaiya's ass, until Kaiya couldn't take it anymore and he orgasmed with a raw shout, arching wildly in Guy's hold, feeling his cock pulse in his hand, spilling his semen out in powerful spurts.
Guy leaned forward again, still moving deep and hard for a few more moments and then he stilled, trembling through his whole body as he groaned and came, filling Kaiya's flesh in hot slick pulses. He collapsed with a soft cry of mindless relief, pressing his sweat dampened brow into the curve of Kaiya's neck while Kaiya stroked his back and rubbed at his tensed-up shoulder.
In the aftermath Guy didn't roll away from him, but lay facing him, pulling him close into the circle of his arm, hooking one long leg over his hips and holding him right in to his body, snug and tight. His hand slid up, gently gripping the back of Kaiya's neck, easing his head back. And Guy kissed him, long and slow, over and over, drinking from his mouth, all soft lips and hot stroking tongue. Deep kisses, soul kisses... And, to Kaiya, in some inexplicable way that he knew he would never be able to explain, that was even sexier than the fucking, that kind of kissing.
He fell asleep with his face pressed to Guy's chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling sated and calm and honestly wanted, for the first time.
Hope had bloomed here tonight, he knew. Maybe even hope enough for the both of them.
Current day
When Guy pushed open the door of Depraved's and stepped back into the main bar room, Kaiya could immediately see the shadows that had appeared under his eyes. Whoever had been in that limo, whoever Guy had talked to... it had obviously not been good.
Guy rubbed his hand over his face for a moment, before catching sight of Kaiya as he waited, just to one side of the grimy front window. He smiled slightly, a certain resignation on his weary face, and shook his head. "Weren't you supposed to stay back there at the pool table?" he jerked his chin towards Sid, who was still standing at the rear of the room, pool cue in hand and uneasiness on his face.
Kaiya shrugged, unrepentant. "You just said not to leave the bar room, right?"
Huffing a tired chuckle, Guy nodded. "S'pose I did."
Stepping closer, Kaiya looked closely at Guy's face, noting the tension, the strange pallor there. "You don't look so good, man."
Behind him, he could almost hear the apprehensive silence spreading out across the room as he made the observation. He glanced sideways for an instant, meeting Norris' eyes, seeing the man's expression change, his eyes widening and a grimace crossing his face, almost as if he was bracing himself for the ensuing explosion.
Wetting his lips, Kaiya shook it off.
All that shit didn't matter.
Guy did.
Reaching out, he closed his hand over Guy's upper arm, rubbing gently. "Are you okay?"
Guy actually looked startled for a moment. He stared at Kaiya, a myriad of expressions crossing his face, before his brow smoothed once more and he sighed, nodding slowly. "Yeah, kid." He lifted his hand and gripped Kaiya's jaw, his fingers strangely tender, "I'm fine."
Shifting his touch, Kaiya curled his fingers around Guy's forearm. "Who was in that car?"
There was another pause form Guy, another heavy silence behind him.
"No one important," Guy murmured eventually, his entire body relaxing, the tension draining from his shoulders. "Just an old memory."
Kaiya nodded and dropped his hand. "Okay," he smiled slightly. "You want a beer?"
"Yeah." To Kaiya's total and utter surprise, Guy moved to his side, sliding his arm around his shoulders and pulling him close as he headed to toward the bar at the rear of the room, holding him tight against his lean body, right in front of everyone... right in front of the whole of Bison. "Yeah," he said again. "A beer would be good."
Settling at the bar on his usual stool, pulling Kaiya in to lean against his chest, Guy lifted his chin. "Hey, Norris?"
Norris got to his feet, sharing a brief startled glance with Luke before stepping forward. "Yeah, boss?"
"Get me a beer, would you?" he paused, grinning down at Kaiya. "And get one for Kaiya, too."
Nodding, his face composed, but his eyes oddly relieved, Norris did exactly that.
The End