The journey itself, is freedom
by Ainzfern
6
As the lift that he was in smoothly ascended to the mid levels of Eos Tower, Laron Tak closed his eyes and rested his admittedly weary head against the rear wall of the lift carriage. It was an unusually noticeable indication of his emotional state, that much was true. But, as he was currently alone, he was willing to allow himself this little public lapse.
Today had not been a good day.
He supposed, now looking back on everything in retrospect, he had clearly been overly optimistic not to have considered an outcome like this. After all, it wasn't as though he hadn't already been warned simply by the change in attitude and behavior that he had noted in some of his peers. The facts, so thoroughly presented to him today, were quite evident. Iason Mink's social reforms might have made it legally permissible and morally acceptable to fall in love, and subsequently act upon that affection, with a Pet, but that didn't mean that everyone would automatically approve or even be tolerant of it.
And, Laron smiled bleakly and shook his head, running one restless hand through his thick mane of glossy cobalt hair, if it transpired that one such disapproving agent just so happened to be a key senior rank holder in one's chosen department, then one obviously had problems. Kyle's disagreement with certain reforms that Iason Mink had introduced was not a secret. The Blondie had been publicly witnessed clearly stating that it was only the Hepstra relocation project, and the convenient options it provided for 'efficient disposal' of unwanted Pets, that had stopped Kyle from launching a referendum to have the original legislation regarding the regulatory compliance of Pet ownership challenged and overturned.
Kyle had always been very clear on his opinion of Pets. They were accessories, mere amusements. That was what they had been bred for, and that was all they should ever be.
Even so... Laron lifted his large blue eyes and gazed almost disinterestedly at the floor numbers displaying sequentially on the LCD panel above the lift doors. He had honestly assumed that a seasoned professional Kyle Li, a Syndicate department leader for goodness sake, would have been able to separate his personal opinions from his professional judgment.
He had been wrong.
The utter irony of it, from Laron's rankled perspective, was that Kyle had deliberately denied the Sapphire his coveted opportunity for the very transgression that he himself was guilty of. Kyle was not able to keep personal and professional matters apart... at least in this instance.
Frowning as the lift doors silently slid open upon the elegantly appointed lobby of his level, Laron alighted and strode gracefully towards his apartment. Although he managed, by sheer dint of effort, to control any outward manifestation of his inner turmoil to a few dark expressions, the fact was that Laron was more disturbed by what had occurred today that he had ever felt before.
Actually 'disturbed' really didn't quite cover it.
Deeply disappointed. Genuinely offended. Furious. These were far more apt descriptions.
However, it would do no good to surrender to such emotions. Laron knew that. Feel them he might, display them he would not. Such behavior would not avail him anything, and would only serve to upset and distress his Companion, who held Laron's feelings in far higher regard than his own. For a moment Laron paused just outside his apartment entrance, a small but genuinely warm smile gracing his exquisite face. For that brief time, he marveled how even the merest thought of his mate immediately improved his humor, even after a day such as this one.
And it was with thoughts of Esra foremost in his mind that Laron knew he must compose himself completely before entering his home. Esra knew him well, was perceptive towards his facial expressions and his body language. He would pick up on any tension in the Elite and Laron knew it. The truth was, Laron did not want Esra to know of what had transpired today. Kyle Li's reasoning would cut too close to the bone, singling out Esra as the cause of Laron's so-called 'difficulties'. Grossly untrue and unreasonable though it was, if Esra was made aware of it, the young ex-Pet would feel that he was to blame.
Laron was not about to have any of that.
Esra had enough to handle just adjusting to life beyond being a Pet. In no way was Laron going to add to his stress.
He could handle this. He was nothing if not resilient. He would figure out a solution.
But for now, Laron slowed and deepened his breathing, allowing his inborn sense of control, his Elite center, to distance himself from the events of the day. To review them and subsequently allow his formidable mind to remove the emotional overtones, reducing their power over him.
He had to appreciate the irony of such an exercise in control. If only, Laron now mused ruefully, he had been able to remove the emotional overtones in his responses at the time.
A deep chuckle, undeniably wry, sounded for a moment in Laron's solid chest.
It had been an... interesting experience, that much was true.
Almost as soon as he had entered Kyle Li's executive level office on the upper floor of Jupiter Tower, Laron had felt a clearly negative atmosphere in the room, apparently emanating from his Syndicate superior. Nevertheless, he had greeted the Blondie appropriately, not showing any indication that he had noted anything untoward.
"Sir Kyle." He had bowed, graceful and urbane, as he had reached the Blondie's desk. "I understand you wished to speak to me regarding my expression of interest in the section management secondment."
Kyle had smiled briefly, coldly. Despite the odd vibe he had been getting, Kyle's behavior had not been out of character, Laron had noted. Kyle was, habitually, an almost quintessential Blondie Elite, all glacial blonde haughtiness and exquisite conceit, magnificently aloof and coolly removed from anything that remotely resembled passion. "Yes, Laron, I did." His voice was velvet-soft and pleasant to hear. "Please, by all means, seat yourself."
Laron had folded his long and elegant limbs into the chair opposite Kyle's desk, waiting politely for Kyle to continue. When the Blondie did, it was with words that Laron had not expected, in any circumstances, to hear from the man.
"I do regret having to inform you," Kyle's expression had grown grave, even bleak, as he had leaned slightly forwards over his desk, resting his elbows on the desk-top and steepling his long fingers together, "that your expression of interest in the position is unacceptable."
Laron had grown very still, seeing the sudden look of disapproval in Kyle's eyes, something that he had never noticed before. Taking a slow inhalation he had spoken, his tone carefully calm. "Might I enquire as to why?" he had asked.
"Of course." One of Kyle's pale brows had twitched slightly as he held Laron's gaze steadily. "I trust you will forgive me for being forthright in my answer, but your performance over the last six months or so, I am sad to say, has been – at best – suffering from a noticeable lack of your usual level of focus."
Laron had felt his spine stiffen in his seat, felt the muscles of his broad shoulders hardening up with sudden tension. "This is...," he had paused for a moment, groping for the right words, "...surprising news to me, Sir Kyle," he continued, his voice level and his mind racing. "My immediate supervisors, my section management, they have given no such feedback to me."
Kyle's full mouth had thinned a touch. "The observations, Laron," he had replied with pointed slowness, "have been my own."
"I see," Laron had shaken his head, his bafflement evident. "I feel compelled to point out, Sir Kyle, that you have, over the last six month period, been the recipient of several of my reports and yet you have never mentioned any issues with the comparative quality."
The Blondie's expression had flickered then. Laron had clearly seen it. Kyle's carefully constructed Elite mask had slipped, showing a fleeting but fulsome expression of intense irritation and aversion, and the more Laron defended himself, it seemed, the deeper Kyle's annoyance was, and the colder his manner became. "Technically, your work has remained acceptable, that is true," Kyle had responded stiffly. "However... it is not your aptitude, but rather your attitude, that has concerned me. Your mind is elsewhere these days, Laron. I can't imagine why." His full mouth curved once more into an oddly mocking little smile. "But neither can I ignore it."
And it was then that Laron had realized. Kyle's tone, his words and his behavior... the Blondie had been making a personal decision, not a business one. Something that Laron had done had offended him and this was clearly the platform within which Kyle had chosen to address it. As long as Laron was content to quietly stay in his current position, Kyle was obviously prepared to ignore his affront.
That Laron was now daring to step beyond his conventional role was apparently another matter entirely.
"It's Esra, isn't it?" he murmured staring down at his hands, his eyes wide and filled with awareness, knowing at the deepest gut level that he was absolutely correct. "You don't approve of me registering him as my Companion. That is why my application for tenure in the secondee role has been rejected by you." He had flicked his eyes up to Kyle's and seen the answer.
Just for a second, the merest instant before Kyle had been able to mask his expression once more, Laron had seen the truth in that pale gaze. He would never be able to prove it of course, he had known that, but he'd scored a direct hit and both Elites were aware of it.
Kyle had sat back, his entire being seeming to close off rigidly. "I don't believe I mentioned your Companion, at all. I am speaking of priorities. That is all. You must decide what matters most to you. If you wish to advance in your career within my department, you will need to rethink your current attitude." He had nodded brusquely, indicating that his word was final.
After a frozen moment, Laron had returned Kyle's nod, almost congenially. "I see," he had said at length. "Well, I certainly understand your position, Sir Kyle, and I appreciate you making it so clear to me."
The Blondie's sudden nod of approval had been ever so slightly touched with condescension. "I thought you might, Laron. You're an intelligent man for all that your attention might have shifted towards a, shall we say, 'less favorable' focus...? But it pleases me to know that you are able to acknowledge a more rational point of view."
"Oh I do indeed acknowledge it, Sir Kyle," Laron had artfully matched Kyle's little smirk with a glacial smile of his own. "However, I do not accept it. Hence you will receive my notice of resignation by close of business today."
Although the Blondie before him had controlled his reaction to Laron's statement well, as any Elite would do, Laron had been oddly gratified to note that a brief but indisputable flash of shock had filled Kyle's eyes.
"Laron...," Kyle had lowered his voice, his demeanor altering yet again, becoming bleak, even vaguely angry. "Are you fully aware of the possible consequences of such a rash decision?"
"I am."
Kyle had shaken his head. "I think not." Lifting his chin, his manner had changed yet again, drifting towards concern and benevolence. His eyes, however, had remained flinty. "Wherever you go, you will have to start over again from the very lowest rank available to your caste."
Laron had set his jaw stubbornly. Yes, he had known Kyle was correct and could admit that he didn't much like the idea, but it was not sufficient to change his mind. Staying in Kyle's department to simply stagnate until retirement age in a minor role that he could perform with his eyes closed was not acceptable. And the very notion, the merest idea, that he could reject his Companion, his mate, so that he might further his career... simply unthinkable. Even more, it was impossible.
"If I must start over, Sir Kyle," he had replied, "then that is what I shall do."
Kyle had vented a soft sound of disbelief. "Even though I have made it perfectly clear that you are welcome to retain your current role and ranking within this department?"
"Yes," Laron had felt one hand tighten almost unbidden on the arm of his chair as a surge of disgust rose in him. "You are indeed willing to allow me to stay here, to offer my skills, my efforts, supporting Platinas and Blondies passing by me on the road to advancement, yet never having any further opportunities myself." He had felt his lips thin into a hard line. "How very kind of you."
Kyle had blinked, obviously catching the note of disdain in the Sapphire's voice. That pale face had colored, ever so slightly. "Careful, Laron," he had murmured his warning.
"To what point and purpose, Kyle?" Laron had demanded, omitting the usual honorific, no longer able to keep his tone from sharpening. "The quality of my performance has not waned and you know it. Your refusal to promote me to a role we both know I could excel at, adding value to this department, is directly related to your disapproval of my personal life which, I feel I must add," his voice dropped to a deathly frigid tone, "is none of your business."
After a moment of absolute stillness, Kyle had lowered his own voice to mirror the Sapphire's. "Laron," he had urged with what was obviously false sincerity, "allow me to assure you that my decision has been well thought out and given all due consideration." He had lifted his elegant hands, spreading them in a placating gesture. "The department requires an Elite in the secondment position who is capable of contributing one hundred percent effort—"
"When," Laron had snapped, his outward composure at last developing a significant crack, "have I ever contributed anything less?"
Kyle's eyes had flashed dangerously. "The bottom line, Laron, is that I have made my decision," he had replied flatly in a tone that brooked no argument, "and I do not have to justify it. Least of all to a—" he had broken off, leaving it hanging.
"A Sapphire?" Laron had finished for him.
Kyle's expression had remained icy, all earlier pretenses of false concern leaving him, his demeanor revealing nothing more than a faint grimace of contempt. The narrow-eyed gaze that he had leveled at Laron had been unflinching. "Reconsider your decision, Laron," he had said softly.
Laron's chin had lifted, his own gaze refusing to break away. "I will not."
"Then I can also assure you," Kyle had gone on, "that you will not find it so easy to secure a position elsewhere, regardless of how lowly a ranking you are willing to accept." He had smiled and, to Laron, there had been a very strong shade of malevolence in that expression. "I have many close associates in most of the major Syndicate departments and I know them well. They are hardly going to be keen to hire on anyone who cannot be relied upon to commit sufficient care to his duties."
A heavy silence had stretched out in the wake of that remark.
At length Laron had spoken, still not entirely certain that he had heard correctly. "You... are threatening me?"
"Of course not," Kyle's face had not so much as flickered. "I am merely making an observation."
"I see." Laron had shaken his head as he rose to his feet. "Then, clearly, there is little left to say."
"It would appear so."
"I will issue my resignation letter shortly," Laron had added as he turned to leave.
Kyle's broad shoulders had lifted briefly. "As you wish." He had turned his attention to the paperwork upon his desk. "A foolish and emotive decision I feel. However, I can only suggest restraint to you, I cannot enforce it."
Laron had stalked from the office without further word, not even willing to give Kyle's final insulting words the validation of a reply.
Now, standing in the lobby hall just outside his apartment, Laron found that he was heaving a sigh of something very close to sorrow. In all honesty, it was apparent to him that Kyle Li had no idea at all regarding the tangible power, the sheer emotional strength of the bond that Laron held with his Companion. The Blondie had never opened himself personally to the possibility of a mate, thus he clearly had never experienced such feelings.
If he had, Laron reasoned with a rueful quirk of a dark brow, he would never have made such a ridiculous ultimatum. Because he would have understood that, for Laron, there was no choice.
After keying his security code Laron stepped through into the welcome haven of his apartment, exchanging the usual low-voiced greeting with Kalad while the Furniture accepted Laron's white day-gloves and then removed the heavy sash-coat from his Master's shoulders.
"Sir Esra," Laron noted that Kalad smiled slightly, almost affectionately, as he always did when using the traditional honorific regarding the ex-Pet that was now co-Master of the household, "is waiting for you in the main room, Master Laron. Dinner has not yet been served, as I assumed that you would care to dine together as usual."
Laron nodded, his deep blue eyes warming as he appraised the loyal and long-term servant before him. "You are correct, Kalad. Thank you. If you would serve in thirty minutes..?"
"Of course, Master Laron," Kalad carefully folded Laron's sash-coat over one arm, pausing as he turned to take the garment into the main bedroom. "I understand Sir Esra has had quite an interesting day, Sir."
"Oh?" Laron quirked an inquisitive brow.
"Yes," Kalad smiled briefly, his dark eyes sparkling with some manner of secret amusement. "I believe he is extremely keen to share it with you."
Looking closely at that expression, it was very clear to Laron now that something had occurred involving Esra, which Kalad apparently found quite pleasing. This was good in itself. Quite frankly, Laron had to admit he was in need of some agreeable news.
"Ah," he nodded graciously at his Furniture, "then I shall endeavor to ask him about it with all due haste."
"Very good, Sir," Kalad bowed respectfully and quietly withdrew from the entrance, heading towards the rear of the spacious apartment.
In his wake, Laron followed at a more sedate pace, the first genuine smile of the day gracing his face as he entered the main living area and spotted his Companion, curled up on the edge of the sofa with a book in his lap, obviously patiently passing time until Laron arrived home. Upon hearing the Elite's footsteps, Esra set his book aside and looked up, a radiant smile on his face, his large soft brown eyes dancing in the low light as he rose to his feet, closing the few feet between them.
As Esra neared him, Laron happily opened his arms, taking his young mate into a warm embrace, holding him close for a long moment, absorbing both physical warmth and emotional sustenance from the young man's nearness. He pulled back a little and cupped Esra's sweet face with one hand, lifting his chin up. Leaning down slightly, he kissed Esra gently, slowly, sighing softly at the sheer joy of it, of the simple and profound pleasure of being welcomed home.
"Good evening, dear-heart," Laron murmured the little nickname against Esra's soft skin, smiling when he heard his mate's soft delighted chuckle, felt the young man's slender hands lift to gently stroke through Laron's long satin-soft hair.
"Good evening, Laron," Esra replied, his warm breath brushing Laron's smooth cheek.
He relaxed, letting the unpleasantness of the day leave him. Such things ceased to matter here. Because he knew no matter what Kyle said, or did; no matter how hard he might try to undermine Laron's future success, the Sapphire could take comfort in this... Kyle Li could never destroy this.
Esra's smile was warm as he leaned back in the circle of Laron's arms, his face filled with absolute trust and devotion. "You look tired," he said in his gentle voice, a tiny frown forming on his brow. "Was your day all right?"
Laron carefully masked even the smallest reaction to that question, continuing to smile down into his Companion's beautiful face. He took a deep breath, touching Esra's soft cheek with gentle lingering fingertips. "It was fine, Esra," he lied gently, pushing away the sharp little surge of guilt that lanced through him and tightening his arms around Esra's slender shoulders once more, cuddling him close. "Just a little demanding."
Perceptive creature that he was, Esra peered up at him, his gaze now mildly concerned. "You're sure?"
"Of course." He stepped back, sliding one arm around Esra's waist and leading him towards the dining area. "Now," his smile widened rakishly as he glanced sidelong at his mate, "I would much prefer to leave the world of statistics and draft reports behind me for the evening and hear about your day."
With a soft laugh, Esra gave in. Seating themselves, the striking pair waited while Kalad appeared on silent feet to pour out their wine before, just as quietly, drifting away to the kitchen once more.
Propping his chin on one hand, Laron leaned forward a little, his large eyes fixed on Esra's face. He settled in comfortably to his seat, preparing once again – as he did every evening – to be utterly charmed and entranced by his mate.
Right now, he mused, this was really all that mattered.
He would deal with the harsher realities of the day later.
Somehow.
The journey itself... – chapter 5 << >> The journey itself... – chapter 7